我要小解! (I) (Euphemism)

When my sister-in-law, who had just come back from China for a family reunion, asked the waiter where the bathroom was at a restaurant, it took him two seconds to realize what she was referring to. She called it 衛生間(wei4 sheng jian) as people call it in China. Here in Taiwan we usually say 洗手間(xi3 shou3 jian). If you prefer a more direct expression like toilet, 廁所(ce4 suo3) would be used.

I think the expression洗手間is somewhat English-tinged because in English you say “wash my hand” as a euphemism for excreting. 洗手 has been one of the euphemisms in Mandarin referring to going to the bathroom.

Sometimes kids around anal stage love to say 大便(da4 bian4)，小便(xiao3 bian4) to attract attention or to “irritate” their moms because they know these expressions will certainly raise some eyebrows and they’ll giggle at those eyebrows. 大便is excrement while小便, or 尿液is urine. 大便and 小便 can both be used as verbs.

But ladies and gentlemen don’t say that. They use euphemisms instead. An old and literary one is解手(jie3 shou3), which literally means to “release one’s hand.” It is said that during the Ming Dynasty when the government was trying to immigrate people from the too densely populated provinces to the scarcely populated ones, to prevent the reluctant people from escaping, they bound those people’s hands together. When nature called, as a result, people had to ask the soldiers on duty to release their hand, 解手

In English people use No 1, No 2 as a distinction while in Chinese we use 大(da4), big, 小(xiao3), small as you learn in the previous paragraph. Probably from解手 we get小解(xiao3 jie3) to mean pee. But strangely we don’t have the term 大解(da4 jie3) as a counterpart.

As 小解 pronounces the same as 小姐, girl, or euphemism for street girls, here comes the joke: “A high-ranking official was visiting a village. On the tour bus he yelled「我要小解!」(wo3 yao4 xiao3 jie3) several times but was ignored (because the female receptionist had misinterpreted it as「我要小姐!」). In the end the edgy official screamed, 「我要小解!」With a flush the disconcerted receptionist murmured, ‘Will I do?’”

A counterpart for 小解 is出恭(chu gong), to defecate. According to Wikipedia, during an imperial examination, which took several days, there were two boards出恭, 入敬(ru4 jing4) at the entrance of the exam. Those who would like to go to the bathroom had to take a出恭board, literally meaning “exiting respectfully,” and a入敬board, literally meaning “entering respectfully” when they went back. As time goes by, people seem to have forgotten the latter part 入敬, but only remember出恭, which originally referred to both “numbers.” But later it has changed to refer to “No 2” only.

Bathroom has changed a lot as time goes by. In the past it was usually built separated from the house and was called 茅坑(mao2 keng) or 茅廁(mao2 ce4). The name tells you that it’s only a primitive and humble “pit” as the word 坑suggests. Fortunately I was a city child, and not old enough to have the chance to use one. I’ve heard stories about how little kids had fallen into a茅坑, some of whom were even drowned. I’m really really sorry for them, to be honest.

In 張愛玲(zhong ai4 ling2), Eileen Chang’s novels, sometimes she describes how the maids go out to 倒馬桶(dao4 ma3 tong3) and chat with each other in the early morning. For those 公子(gong zi3) or 千金小姐(qian jin xiao3 jie3), the gentlemen and ladies in a family, they were too delicate to go out to the茅廁. They would use a bucket in their room, which is called馬桶. It is said that in ancient time the bucket was made in the shape of a horse, which is why it is called 馬桶. Even the modern toilet is called 抽水馬桶(chou shui3 ma3 tong3), a flushing toilet, though it is no longer in the shape of a horse. In the old times it was the maid’s duty to clean the bucket, 倒馬桶. No wonder those公子 or 千金小姐needed so many maids. With their dressing, they would need lots of aids when nature called.

As the emergence of the modern bathroom, we have different names, such as 盥洗室(guan4 xi3 shi4)、化妝室(hua4 zhuang shi4) and the ones I mentioned above. These days some restaurants take a very “romantic” name for the restroom. They call it 聽雨軒(ting yu3 xuan). 軒is a delicate name usually for someone’s study. 聽雨 means listening to the rain. You go to the bathroom to “listen to the rain.”

Well, sitting here for the whole morning, I guess I need to “listen to the rain.”

(TO BE CONTINUED)

衛生間=卫生间

廁所=厕所

茅廁=茅厕

張愛玲=张爱玲

馬桶=马桶

化妝室=化妆室

聽雨軒=听雨轩

水仙不開花—Scallion, Ginger & Garlic (III) (food)

水仙不開花(shui3 xian bu4 kai hwa), a commonly used Xiehouyu, literally means narcissuses don’t blossom. What if narcissuses don’t blossom? They look like the first picture below.


sowerclub.com


The second picture is garlic. From the pictures you can tell the point of this Xiehouyu: if a narcissus doesn’t blossom, its flat leaves and corm look like those of garlic.


food.39.net


I read online a story about one year when Qianlong Emperor was on a tour around the south of the Changjiang River, he was impressed by an extensive green field of garlic. But the next year when he went there again, the garlic hadn’t gown up. To please the emperor, an official replaced narcissuses with garlic, whose leaves resembled those of the former when watched from a long distance away. The emperor was pleased and the official was promoted.


The story is said to be the origin of the latter part of the Xiehouyu--裝蒜(zhong suan4), pretend to be  garlic.


When you know something but pretend that you don’t. This is 裝蒜. For example, you know that your girlfriend is eager to get married and is expecting you to pop the question. You just pretend that you know nothing about it and keep ignoring her suggestive remarks.


Besides being a condiment, garlic is considered a good sterilizer, which prevents and cures some infections. Some people dip garlic in water and gargle with it to prevent colds. We even have essence of garlic as health food.


In some courses, garlic plays not only as a condiment, but as a main ingredient. For example, when cooked with chicken as a coup (sometimes clans are added to it), it is a delicious course , 蒜頭雞(suan4 te2 ji), which will warm you up in winter.


When someone is doubtful about something without firm proof, or later is proved to be wrong, we’ll say he’s 多心(duo shin),which literally means “many hearts.” We have a Xiehouyu 大蒜發芽(da4 suan4 fa ya2) to express it. When garlic sprouts, it looks like it has many “hearts.”


Another garlic-related xiehouyu is大蒜剝皮,(da4 suan4 bo pi2) peeling garlic. When peeling a bunch of garlic, you got to 層層深入(ceng2 ceng2 shen ru4) , peel one layer after another, like a detective solving a case, or a scientist dipping into a fact.


Next year is the presidential election year. Whenever there’s an election in Taiwan, you’ll hear a lot of 凍蒜(dong4 suan4), which has nothing to do with garlic despite the word 蒜. It’s the south Min dialect meaning “elected.” You can guess what you probably will see in the candidates’ offices next year.




水仙不開花=水仙不开花


裝蒜=装蒜


蒜頭雞=蒜头鸡


大蒜發芽=大蒜发芽


大蒜剝皮=大蒜剥皮


層層深入=层层深入


凍蒜=冻蒜

薑是老的辣—Scallion, Ginger & Garlic (II) (food)

No one likes to be called “old.” In the past, you called someone 老先生(lao3 xian sheng) or 老太太(lao3 tai4 tai) as a respectful title to the elderly. These days we delete the word old, 老. But we call a teacher 老師(lao3 shi) in Mandarin. Sometimes I’ll joke with my students by claiming that the reason I can’t stay young is because I am “cursed” by them, who call me 老師 every day.

But don’t get mad when someone praises you by saying that薑是老的辣, only old gingers are spicy enough. He’s giving a compliment after you succeed in something due to your abundant experience. For example, when an experienced technician fixes a machine after three young ones have tried in vain, you may as well say this to him with your thumbs up.

Gingers are divided into 老薑(lao3 jiang), old ginger, and 嫩薑(nen4 jiang), young, or tender ginger based on the time span they stay in the ground. When cropped in the fourth month, the gingers are still tender and juicy, with their skin thin and slightly –colored. These are嫩薑. Like their color, they are mild in flavor and often finely shredded to add to a soup. They are easy to shrink and cannot be stored for long.

 嫩薑 ttmeishi.com  

   

老薑, however, stays longer. They are not cropped until the tenth month, when they are harder and dryer, with their skin thicker and darker, their flavor much spicier, which is why we have such an expression as 薑是老的辣. With their strong flavor, they are used to rid of the fishy smell of food.

老薑 tech.sina.com.

According to本草綱目(ben3 cao3 gang mu4), Bencao Gangmu or Compendium of Materia Medica, a Chinese materia medica work written by Li Shizhen in the Ming Dynasty, gingers can cure cold, nausea, upset stomach, headache, stuffy nose . . . etc. Traditionally food is divided into  溫熱(wen re4), hot, 寒涼(han2 liang2), cold, or 平性(ping2 xing4)mediocre. Here the hot and cold does not refer to the temperature of the food, but the reaction between the food and our body.

It’s the same with people’s body. Some people are easily excited or nervous. They’re always thirsty and found of cold food. Their urine is yellower and lesser in amount. Many of them suffer from constipation. They are called to have 熱性體質(re4 xing4 ti3 zhi2), a “hot body.” On the contrary, if they’re always exhausted and listless, but not so thirsty. They are found of hot food. Their urine is lighter in color and more in amount. it’s 寒性體質(han2 xing4 ti3 hi2), a “cold body.”

If you have a "cold body," gingers are your friends. In winter when it’s freezing cold, people like to have gingers cooked with brown sugar and drink it to warm themselves up, because gingers belong to the溫熱  group. Eating “hot food” helps a “cold body” balance itself. This is a general principle of eating in terms of溫熱 or寒涼

Traditionally a woman after labor will have a so-called Post-labor confinement month 坐月子(zuo4 yue4 zi3), when she eats a lot of 麻油雞酒(ma2 you2 ji jiu3), chicken cooked with rice wine, sesame oil and gingers. Here I’d like omit the other regulations and focus on the gingers.

The reason for a post-labor woman to have麻油雞酒is that Chinese people think in the process of the labor, her pores and bones are “open,” which makes ready accesses for 風寒(feng han3), the chills to enter her body and make her sick. With a different makeup from the westerners, she has to eat what helps her get rid of those “chills,” which is what the 麻油雞酒for. If you keep smelling the wonderful aroma of sesame oil with ginger in your neighborhood, probably you have a newborn baby from the eastern Asia.

But this love for麻油雞酒 or food of such kind is not limited to post-labor women. In winter, especially when a cold front hits, you’ll see people getting together to eat tonics to get warmer or healthier, which we call 進補(jin4 bu3). 薑母鴨(jiang mu3 ya), old gingers with duck, is one of the most favored tonics.

薑母(jiang mu3) is the expression for old gingers in the southern Min dialect. One day my son Steve told me that for a long while he had considered the course as “gingers with she-duck,” as he saw it as薑●母鴨, which actually should be薑母●鴨. This is not some uncommon error when reading Chinese. My foreign friends in Taiwan, when you see on the street the boards with the three words, have you ever had the same wonder as my son Steve had, Why the she-ducks?

薑是老的辣=姜是老的辣

本草綱目=本草纲目

溫熱=温热

寒涼=寒凉

熱性體質=热性体质

寒性體質=寒性体质

麻油雞酒=麻油鸡酒

進補=进补

薑母鴨=姜母鸭

你算哪顆蔥?—Scallion, Ginger & Garlic (I) (food)

Scallion, ginger and garlic, 蔥(cong)、薑(jiang)、蒜(suan4) are indispensable in Chinese kitchen. Not only do you see them in almost every course of Chinese cuisine, you hear them a lot as well.

When fighting with someone, for example, you want to say to him, “Who do you think you are” in Mandarin, just say你算哪顆蔥(ni3 suan4 na3 ke cong)? Literally it means “Which scallion are you?”

In a traditional market, 傳統市場( chuan2 tong3 shi4 chang3) , scallion is never really for sale (except after a typhoon when the supply of the greens is in short temporarily), but complimentary from the vendor to please the housewives. And on the dinning table, though seen a lot, it seldom plays the main role in a course. Mostly it’s of subordinate and minor status. This is my guess why we use this expression to belittle someone.

But scallion is also used as a compliment, for a woman’s fingers. When reading, I often encounter a sentence describing a woman’s long and slim and white and tender fingers that goes as 青蔥般的手指(qing cong ban de shou3 zhi3), green-scallion-like fingers. If you’ve ever seen a fresh scallion with its end and beads of stew on it, you know what it means. Too bad that I couldn’t find a picture of scallion with their ends. ( I’m moving tomorrow and my camera is packed.)

   (from foodsubs.com)

In my previous writing, “Obsessive with names and words,” I talked about how some food are associated with different meanings due to their pronunciations. These days when going to a temple of Wenchang Dijun文昌帝君, or God of Culture and Literature, to pray for their children to be blessed with luck in exams, many parents will prepare scallion as an offering, since the word 蔥 is a homophone of 聰, which means clever.

The most famous and expensive scallion in Taiwan is produced in 宜蘭, Yilan, which is called 三星蔥. The other day when I was surfing the TV and turned to TLC Chanel, I saw Janet, the host of the show “Fun Taiwan,” interviewing some scallion farmers in Yilan. She picked up a scallion and took a bite directly as the farmer told her. It was very spicy, according to her.

On the streets of Taiwan, you often see a stand selling 蔥油餅(cong you2 bing3), scallion pancake, with the scallion as the main ingredient. In my home management class in high school, the first cuisine our teacher taught us was this. You put flour, lard, salt together with the scallion, plus some labor of handling the dough and frying, you get a yummy snack.

 alina28.pixnet.net    

 oldout.com

According to the experts, scallion helps you sweat and get rid of your phlegm or parasite. It whets your appetite and prevents colds. When catching a cold, one of the remedies would be chopping up the white part of the scallion, adding some miso and boiling water and drinking it. It also works for a stuffy nose.  

You might not get cleverer by eating scallion, but you get fewer colds. And next time when someone says to you, “你算哪顆蔥?” You may reply, “I’m三星蔥, blue blood of the scallion!”

  

你算哪顆蔥=你算哪颗葱

蔥、薑、蒜=葱、姜、蒜

傳統市場=传统市场

聰=聪

宜蘭=宜兰

蔥油餅=葱油饼

Bamboo (food)

I think I was born and brought up in a city that has the best name in Taiwan. Literally it means new, or fresh bamboo, 新竹(shin zhu2), which is located between Taipei, 台北and Taichung, 台中

It is neither so plain as those place names that carry nothing but their locations in Taiwan, such as Taipei, the north of Taiwan, Taichung, the middle of Taiwan, 台南, Tainan, the south of Taiwan, and 台東, Taitung, the east of Taiwan; nor is it so “gaudy” as those with flowers such as lotus, 花蓮, Hualian or peach, 桃園, Taiyuan.

Bamboo has always been associated with scholars or literary minds in history. It has been extolled for its slimness and upstanding, especially for its joints, which are symbols of virtues. Why’s so? In Chinese, joints, 節(jie2) also could refer to moral integrity. When someone sticks to morality and refuse to betray his country or morality, we’ll call him a 有節之士(you3 jie2 zhi si4), or 守節之士(shou3 jie2 zhi shi4). When a woman became a widow and refused to remarry, her act was called 守節.

It has also been praised for its stem that is void in the center, which is literally called 虛心(xu shin), 虛means empty, nothing; 心,  center. In Chinese虛心is also considered a virtue, which means modesty and willingness to learn from others. Bamboo has thus become one of the four 君子(jun zi3), virtuous men, along with梅(mei2), plum blossom, 蘭(lan2), orchid, 菊(ju2), chrysanthemum. Together they are put as 梅蘭竹菊, or 四君子(si4 jun zi3)

蘇軾(su shi4), or 蘇東坡(su dong po)(1037-1101), one of the major poets of the Song era, once wrote that lack of meat made a person slim, while lack of bamboo made a person vulgar and tasteless. 無肉令人瘦，無竹使人俗(wu2 rou4 ling4 ren2 shou4, wu2 zhu2 shi3 ren2 su2). This is probably the most well-known praise for bamboo.

For those non-scholars or non-literary minds who do not care so much about bamboo for its “joints,” or “virtue,” bamboo is a very beneficial plant for our lives. Its shoots, 竹筍(zhu2 sun3) is a delicious food that is commonly seen on the table in summer, either in soup or salad. It could also be suntanned into 筍乾(sun3 gan), dried bamboo. Stewed with stock, it’s a must-eat on Chinese New Year’s Eve feast for Taiwanese. When preparing 粽子(zong4 zi3), rice dumpling, for Dragon-boat Festival, we use bamboo leaves to wrap them. 

Before the emergence of plastic, bamboo was widely used in the manufacturing of furniture such as chairs, stools, tables, cupboards or beds. When working under the burning sun or in the rain, farmers wore 斗笠(dou3 li4) , a wide-brimmed leaf hat, to protect them, which was made of bamboo leaves. I remember my kid brother had a picture taken around one, where he sat in a baby’s chair made of bamboo.

Sometimes we’ll see some good-for-nothing parents raising up outstanding children that are nothing like themselves. In such cases, we’ll say in Min-Nan dialect that it’s “Bad bamboo breeds good shoots.” 歹竹出好筍. Recently I learned that when harvesting the bamboo shoots, the farmers prefer the bamboos that look slim and malnourished, which means the bamboo has left a lot of nourishment to the shoot. I guess this is why we have such an expression.

In The Twenty-four Filial Exemplars 二十四孝(er4 shi2 si4 xiao4), there was a story with the title “He Wept Till the Bamboo Sprouted” 哭竹生筍(ku zhu2 sheng sun3)or孟宗哭竹(meng4 zhong ku zhu2), where a filial son named 孟宗 was crying in the bamboo woods because his mother was sick and the doctor prescribed the bamboo shoot soup for her. But it was in winter, not the season for the bamboo shoots to sprout. His act out of filial piety touched God, who let the bamboo sprout and his mother recover.

竹筍炒肉絲, bamboo shoots fried with pork shreds, is a yummy dish that is loved by many. But when I was a kid, when hearing our parents saying that they were gonna “treat” us with it, all the kids would start to run, because here the name referred to something other than food.

Unlike today, we were brought up at a time when parents in general believed in 不打不成器(bu4 da3 bu4 cheng2 qi4); spare the rod and spoil the child. But it was not their intention to hurt kids, which was possible when they were in a rage. The branches of bamboo were the solution.

Back in 70s, 80s, branches of bamboo were seen in almost every family. Besides being bound into a big bunch as a broom, a few of them together were used to discipline children. It was a common scene to see an angry father or mother whipping them on the calf of a misbehaving child. It hurt the kid’s skin but would never wound him to the bones. Jokingly we called this punishment竹筍炒肉絲since the bamboo was falling on the “flesh” of a child and the actions of whipping were like a cook’s stir-frying.

That’s why I prefer bamboo shoots in a soup.

花蓮=花莲

桃園=桃园

守節=守节

梅蘭竹菊=梅兰竹菊

蘇軾=苏轼

蘇東坡=苏东坡

無肉令人瘦，無竹使人俗=无肉令人瘦，无竹使人俗

竹筍=竹笋

筍乾=笋干

歹竹出好筍=歹竹出好笋

哭竹生筍=哭竹生笋

竹筍炒肉絲=竹笋炒肉丝