狗腿 & 馬屁 (Animal)

Very often when we pass by our dog Prince, who’s lying prone idly with his legs spreading on the ground, we’ll watch his legs and say: “好大的狗腿！ (hao3 da4 de gou3 tui3)” –“How big his legs are!”

When we call someone 狗腿, it means that he’s a brown-noser, someone who gains favors, such as a promotion, a raise by kissing ass.

It is said that there once was a rich man who broke his leg. To please him, a servant offered to have his own leg cut and given to his master.

“What about your own leg?” asked the master.

“I can have a dog’s leg,” replied the servant.

“What about the dog’s leg?”

“Make him one out of mud.”

This is why a dog has to raise a hind leg when he pees—so that the leg made of mud won’t be washed off.

Besides狗腿, the horse is also used in describing the same act of kissing ass. Literally it means “patting the horse’s ass”—拍馬屁(pai ma3 pi4) People who are good at this are labeled as馬屁精(ma3 pi4 jing) .

But kissing ass doesn’t always succeed. Sometimes you think you’ll please someone by your 馬屁. Instead of pleased, however, this person just got annoyed because you play the trick wrong or he’s too smart to be fooled. We’ll say, instead of patting the horse in the ass, you pat it in the leg. 馬屁拍到馬腿上了(ma3 pi4 pai dao4 ma3 tui3 le)

Another dog-related term would be 狗嘴裡吐不出象牙(gou3 zui3 li3 tu3 bu4 chu xiang4 ya2), a dog’s mouth emits no ivory. You can never expect wise advice from a foolish man, or elegant talk from a filthy mouth.

Speaking of mouth, sometimes 烏鴉, crow, will be connected with it to be 烏鴉嘴. Chinese believe that crow cawing could be a bad sign and bring ill luck. So when someone says something unlucky that seems to be a curse, people might stop him by calling him a “craw’s mouth.” 烏鴉嘴

On the afternoon before Taiwan’s 921 Quake happened in 1999, I was informed that I would have some extra classes on the next day, which meant I would have 7 periods the next day. Learning this, I told my niece I wished the next day would be a day off. But there wouldn’t be any typhoon. “What about an earthquake?” It slipped out of my tongue. I didn’t mean it but that midnight, the 7.3-magnitute happened and claimed thousands of lives.

This is my personal experience of playing a烏鴉嘴, a very big one.

馬屁精=马屁精

狗嘴裡吐不出象牙=狗嘴里吐不出象牙

烏鴉嘴=乌鸦嘴