I swear (Chop suey)

Recently I've been teaching part time as a substitute at a very prestigious senior high school, from which I resigned years ago. It's the top high school in the middle part of Taiwan, and I'm glad to have the chance to review what it is like to teach elite students.

The first day when I heard some student swear in a vulgar language during the break, I couldn't help looking around to see who did it. It’s not that I don’t know the trend of language so as to be so fussy. It’s just that it was not such a frequent happening back when I was teaching here. There was a moment when I got mixed up as to my whereabouts. Am I in my night school ?

Same thing happened four years ago when I resumed my career and started teaching at a private high school. I was surprised to hear those pretty girls, with angel looks and in their cute uniform, spit out curses which were considered vulgar and would hardly be heard from a girl of that age back in my time.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not against swearing, or using four-letter words under some circumstances. In fact, I think swearing is an indispensable part of a language. In some situations, “A curse is worth a thousand words!!” You got to swear to let steam off. Nothing else will do as well. I rembmer watching a program on Discovery, where an experiment had proved that swearing really worked in helping the durability for pain.

I swear but for the swearing I do every day on my way driving to work, hundreds of lives would have been killed--I come, I drive, I swear. If you’re on the road during the rush hours on a daily basis, you know what I mean.

My friend Spenser told me every summer when he is asked by students to write something on their year book, he always writes, "Life doesn't make any fucking sense." It is the conclusion he gets from his some forty years of life. Privately I had tried once to omit the word "fucking" to see what difference it made to this motto of his. To be honest, without this word, I have to say his quote at once loses the power and vital.

Funny the few languages I know all have two things in common when they swear. They love to give “regards” to others’ mothers, and female sex organ is inevitable. In a Taiwanese film “Dust in the wind,” 戀戀風塵(lian4 lian4 feng chen2),I heard the grandfather sending “regards” to, instead of someone’s mom, but “third sister” when he cursed in Taiwanese. (幹伊三妹) This is quite an extraordinary exception, which I’ve never heard elsewhere. I don’t know whether it’s a very old usage, or just a rare personal habit.

I don’t know much about the different dialects of the Chinese language. But I do know Chinese say 肏(cao4) as Americans say fuck. In fact, the parts of the word have shown you the meaning of it. The upper part 入(ru4) means “into,” while the rest part 肉(rou4)means flesh.

In Taiwanese, people say 幹(gan4) to mean the same thing. That’s why I said previously that it was weird for us to hear people in China use so many phrases with it in their daily lives*.Recently I’ve found out one thing: Compared with肏and fuck, don’t you think that幹 sounds more powerful and vital, for it resonates more considering the parts of the vocal organs involved and the way it is pronounced? I’m not alone to feel this way. I just read about how some Americans decided to give up “fuck” and use the stronger 幹when they curse. Try all of them loudly to see if you agree with me.

As to the other element, sex organ. It’s really hard for me to tell you anything in writing. All I can tell you is that of all the things I try to avoid in class, 雞排(ji pai2), the chicken chop, is one of them, for it sounds similar to the female sex organ in Taiwanese. And another one is 藍鳥(lan2 niao3), blue bird, if pronounced in Taiwanese, is the counterpart for male. If you curse not only by “giving regards” to someone’s mother, which actually means to refer to someone as your son or daughter, but also mentioning the sex organ, that would be very strong and vulgar. For those who work in Taiwan as teachers, if your students ask you to say either of these, they are “trapping” you. Or I heard some foreigners reverse it by asking their students to say 發球(fa qiu2), to serve a ball in Taiwanese, which sounds like “fuck you.” (What is teaching all about?  To trap or to be trapped?)

To be honest, I doubt if it’s easy for me to take someone as my bosom friend if he never swears, I mean in private even when he’s full of rages. I think either he’s too “well-mannered” or he’s too “composed,” too “hypocritical” to seem “human.” Perhaps that’s why you sometimes hear friends, especially males, greeting each other with “幹, . . .”

But I also know what it will look like if a teacher, as I am, swears in class. That’s why I have to hold back a slip of tongue like, “幹! Why don’t you keep your mouth shut and listen to me?”





Note: Please refer to “What I won’t say in class” posted in Jan.

戀戀風塵=恋恋风尘

幹=干

雞排=鸡排

藍鳥=蓝鸟

發球=发球

Wolf’s heart and dog’s lungs? (Body)

Five convicts on death row were executed last Friday. The last execution was in last April, when the Ministry of Justice resumed enforcing capital punishment verdicts, which ended an unofficial moratorium on the execution of death-row inmates in 2005.

Three of the executed donated their organs. But I read that one of the donatees, who’s on top of the list, had refused to receive the kidney on knowing it was from an executed convict.

Same thing happened in 1999 after Chen Jin Xing, a death-row convict for kidnapping and killing an entertainer’s 17-year-old daughter, was executed. One donatee refused his lungs for fear that she would be like what we called 狼心狗肺(lang2 xin gou2 fei4), literally meaning to have a wolf’s heart and a dog’s lungs. She passed away soon.

I have no right to comment on this act of refusal. It’s the donatee’s call. I'm just surprised to know that this metaphor狼心狗肺should have been regarded this way by some people. It is used to describe those sinister rascals by debasing them as animals, similar to衣冠禽獸(yi guan qin shou4) I had mentioned in “Clothes make the man.” Since the wolf, 狼, sounds the same as 郎, a general title for young men, especially from a woman to call her lover as in 情郎(qing2 lang2), we sometimes say 郎心如狼(lang2 xin ru2 lang2) to depict a cold-blooded man who has mistreated his woman.

On the contrary, we use heart 心and liver肝 to call our babies as in 心肝寶貝(xin gan bao3 bei4), be it a lover or a family member such as a son or a daughter. Liver plus gall 膽 as in 肝膽相照(gan dan3 xiang zhao4)would be for friends who trust each other, fight for the same cause and even will die for each other, literally meaning to show your liver and gall to each other. It’s similar to 推心置腹(tui xin zhi4 fu4), where heart 心and belly腹 are involved.

The organ gall 膽(dan3) is used to refer to guts. 大膽(da4 dan3) means bold. If a soldier is very brave and would risk his life daringly in battle, we can use the term 一身是膽(yi4 shen shi4 dan3) to describe him.

With Chen Jin Xing’s case in 1999, different from the lady who had refused his lungs, the donatee who got Chen’s heart said he changed his mind and accepted the heart only after the doctor told him it was one’s brain, but not heart, that accounted for his behavior.

Indeed we use a lot of phrases related to the heart and the intestine to describe a person. With someone who’s kind-hearted, we’ll say he has 好心腸(hao3 xin chang2), good heart and intestine. As for someone like Mother Teresa, we’ll use 菩薩心腸(pu2 sa4 xin chang2), to have the heart and intestine of Pu-sa, a Goddess of Buddhism. On the contrary, for a heart of stone, it’s 鐵石心腸(tie3 shi2 xin chang2), a heart and intestine of iron and stone.

Last but not least, for an impressive experience that you will always remember, it’s 刻骨銘心(ke4 gu3 ming2 xin), an experience that will be inscribed on your bone (骨)and heart.

衣冠禽獸=衣冠禽兽

心肝寶貝=心肝宝贝

肝膽相照=肝胆相照

菩薩心腸=菩萨心肠

鐵石心腸=铁石心肠

刻骨銘心=刻骨铭心

Flowers and revolutions (Chop suey)

It seems that revolutions革命(ge2 ming4), are in these days. From Tunisia, Egypt, Libya to Yemen, people have been rallying to protest 抗議(kang4 yi4), against their dictators 獨裁者(du2 cai2 zhe3), that have been ruling their countries for decades. Thanks to the fast communication on the Internet, masses of people were gathered in no time to fight for the same cause. Some of them have been celebrating their success.

The trend does not limit to the Middle East. These days “jasmine”茉莉花(mo4 li4 hwa) are emerging in Beijing, Hong kong, or even Taipei to express support for “dissidents” 異議分子(yi4 yi4 fen4 zi) in China. It’s too early to comment on this. But I’d like to tell you an important historical event in Taiwan—野百合學運(ye3 bai3 he2 xue2 yun4), Wild lily student movement, a six-day student demonstration in March, 1990.

On March 16, nine students from National Taiwan University 台大(tai2 da4) initiated a sit-in demonstration 靜坐抗議(jing4 zuo4 kang4 yi4) at Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall Square 中正紀念堂(zhong zheng ji4 nian4 tang2) to express their appeals to dissolve the National Assembly that hadn’t been reelected and had voted for the president on behalf of Taiwanese for more than forty years. They sought direct elections of Taiwan’s president. Soon nearly six thousand college students joined them. They wore white Formosan lilies as a symbol of democracy.

The demonstration lasted from March 16 to March 22. Compared with the ill-fated student demonstration in Tiananmen Square less than one year ago, Wild lily student movement ended with succeess: One year later the National Assembly was dissolved and six years later, Taiwan’s first popularly elected president came out. This Wild lily movement initiated by college students has set up a very important milestone 里程碑(li3 cheng2 bei) for Taiwan’s democracy.

Ever since Taiwan’s martial law 戒嚴(jie4 yan2) was lifted in 1987, there has been huge changes in Taiwan’s society. Great progress has been made in terms of democracy. Like any other democratic countries in the world, speeches of diverse values and notions are allowed to be expressed. Almost every day you see demonstrators in front of the Legislative Yuan, but you hardly see people and the police confront each other. People in Taiwan can always express themselves without violence because they won’t face any oppression from the government. I think this is part of what I’m happy about living in Taiwan, a very big part of it.

抗議=抗议

獨裁者=独裁者

異議分子=异议分子

野百合學運=野百合学运

戒嚴=戒严

Chinese “Cousins” in English (Joke)

Once I mentioned some of my students remember English vocabulary by associating them with Chinese words. It is sometimes effective as some of them are like “relatives” in terms of their pronunciations.

Recently I read a joke on this very smart Chinese grandma, who emigrated to the U. S. and learned English in her own way. In the end she concluded that English and Chinese were actually “related” to each other.

For example, she found a lot of “deaths” 死(si3) in English words. “Yes” is 爺死(ye2 si3), grandfather dies. “Nice” is 奶死(nai3 si3), grandmother dies. “Mouth” is 媽死(ma si3), mother dies. “Was” is 我死(wo3 si3), I die.

And some numbers also have cousins in English. 七十(qi shi2), seventy is “cheese.” 八十(ba shi2), eighty is “bus.” 九十(jiu3 shi2), ninety is “juice.” “Grandma of ninety” 阿婆九十(a po2 jiu3 shi2)  is “apple juice.”

But she is confused why gecko 壁虎(bi4 hu3) turns to beef, spouse 配偶(pei4 ou3) turns to pear, and women’s association婦女會(fu4 nu3 hui4) turns to freeway? And why was she taken to dog food section when she asked for Tofu 豆腐(dou4 fu3) at the supermarket?

She also has trouble remembering her family’s English names. She came up with a smart solution by using Chinese to call them. With a surname 蔡(zai4), her daughter-in-law Sue Zai becomes 蔬菜(shu zai4), vegetable; her son Paul Zai, spinach 菠菜(bo zai4); her grandson Jay Zai, mustard-green, 芥菜(jie4 zai4); her granddaughter Megan Zai, dried mustard-green 梅干菜(mei2 gan zai4)

Another thing once troubling her was that why the Mexican selling peanuts by the highway kept shouting “I’m finished! I screwed up!” 完蛋了(wan2 dan4 le). She finally came to realize that完蛋了and “one dollar” resembled each other so much!

爺=爷

媽=妈

婦女會=妇女会

Kou3 “chi”? (Pronunciation variant)

“The King’s Speech,” a film about how King George VI overcame his stutter, has won four Oscars in the 2011 Academy Awards. When I look at the phrase 口吃, stutter, I wonder how most Chinese learners will pronounce it? Kou3 “chi”?

This is a typical example of how confusing those pronunciation variants in Mandarin could be. Like it is not difficult enough, not only are you unable to see immediate connections between a character and its pronunciation like you do in an alphabetic language, but the same character might have variant pronunciations in different phrases. You can imagine how many tests have we, as native speakers of Mandarin, taken since we were elementary school students to learn this part.

In this stutter case, 吃is not pronounced “chi” as in吃飯(chi fan4), eating a meal, but as “ji2” . It is the only case where 吃is pronounced this way as I know. Don’t ask me why we have such a variation that’s so troubling like sometimes my students do with their English. That’s what it is like with a language, unreasonable very often. Just learn and use it, as I told my students.

Let’s have a little test to see how good your Chinese is in terms of the pronunciation variants. Focus on the characters in red.

1.     我覺得很累，很想睡覺。

2.     你去圖書館是要借書，還是要還書？

3.     我把這個調皮學生的座位調到前面。

4.     台北和台中都是台灣的大都市。

5.     他在大廳等這個著名的作家，等著等著就睡著了。

6.     在這裏買東西又便宜又方便。

7.     你答應我的事就應該做到。

8.     她的頭髮長長了。

I know you don’t want to wait. Here I’m giving you the keys.

1. 我覺得很累，很想睡覺。(jue2  jiao4)

  覺得: feel     

  睡覺: sleep

  I feel tired and feel like sleeping.

2. 你去圖書館是要借書，還是要還書？(hai2  huan2)

  還是: or

  還書: return books

  Are you borrowing or returning books to the library?

3.     我把這個調皮學生的座位調到前面。(tiao2  diao4)

  調皮: naughty

  調到: transfer

  I transferred the naught boy to the front of the classroom.

4.     台北和台中都是台灣的大都市。(dou  du)

  都是: both, all

  都市: city

  Taipei and Taichung are both big cities in Taiwan.

5.     他在大廳等這個著名的作家，等著等著就睡著了。

(zhu4 zh zh zhao2)

著名: famous, noted

等著: wait

睡著: fall asleep

He waited for the noted writer in the hall.

He waited and waited, then fell asleep.

6.     在這裏買東西又便宜又方便。(pian2  bian4)

   便宜: inexpensive, cheap

   方便: convenient

   It’s cheap and convenient to shop here.

7.     你答應我的事就應該做到。 (ying4  ying)

   答應: promise

   應該: should

   You should do what you have promised me.

8.     她的頭髮長長了。(zhang3 chang2)

  長(zhang3): grow

  長(chang2): long

  Her hair has grown longer.

吃飯=吃饭

1.  我覺得很累，很想睡覺=我觉得很累，很想睡觉

2.     你去圖書館是要借書，還是要還書？

=你去图书馆是要借书，还是要还书？

3.     我把這個調皮學生的座位調到前面。

=我把这个调皮学生的座位调到前面。

4.     台灣=台湾

5.     他在大廳等這個著名的作家，等著等著就睡著了。

=他在大厅等这个著名的作家，等着等着就睡着了。

6.     在這裏買東西又便宜又方便。

=在这里买东西又便宜又方便。

7.     你答應我的事就應該做到。

=你答应我的事就应该做到。

8.  她的頭髮長長了=她的头发长长了

Clothes make the man (Clothing)

Without exception the press spotlighted what those Hollywood stars were wearing at the Academy Award this year. It seems true that “clothes make the man.” (Especially for women!) We have a similar expression, 佛要金裝，人要衣裝(fo2 yao4 jin zhuang, ren2 yao4 yi zhuang), Gold makes the Buddhist statue just as clothes make the man.

We call a leader 領袖(ling3 xiu4), the collar and the sleeves as they are considered the most important part of an outfit. When someone is good at socializing with great diplomacy and thus easier to achieve success, we’ll say he’s 長袖善舞(chang2 xiu4 shan4 wu3), literally meaning someone with long sleeves and good at waving them or making them dance. On the contrary, if an official lives a plain, or even poor life because he’s law-abiding and never takes bribes, we use 兩袖清風(liang2 xiu4 qing feng), bearing nothing but wind in one’s sleeves to describe him. I think it’s because people used to put their stuff in their sleeves, which were wider and longer in shape.

Hats do not play such an important role as they used to be. In English, when you high-hat someone, you show despise towards him. But in Chinese, when we “put a high hat on someone,” 戴高帽(dai3 kao mao4)  we give exaggerated compliments to flatter him.

If someone gets a position only through nepotism, we call this 裙帶關係(chun2 dau4 guan xi), a connection on skirt’s string. And speaking of the skirt, when you’re overwhelmed with a woman’s charm and admire her a lot, we can say you 拜倒在她的石榴裙下(bai4 dao3 zai4 ta d shi2 liu2 qun2 xia4), kneel down under her red skirt.

Like English-speakers, we like to denounce people by claiming they are not humans but animals. You say “son of a bitch,” while we say 畜生(chu4 sheng), born by a beast, or sometimes 衣冠禽獸(yi guan qin2 shou4). 衣is clothes, 冠, hat, 禽獸, the beast. Put together it means a beast with clothes and hat on.

In the third century, a group of scholars, writers and musicians came together called Seven Sages of the Bamboo Grove 竹林七賢(zhu2 lin2 qi xian2). They led a self-indulgent life, drinking, talking and engaging in their art. One of them liked to walk around in his nude. One day when accused by one of his visitors of being impolite, he replied, “I take the universe as my house and the house as my clothes. Who told you to intrude into my pants?”

For those who take the world as their clothes and love to wear their birthday suit, they may go to the nude beach, 天體海灘(tian ti3 hai3 tan), where nobody will get shocked or annoyed, and you don’t have to defend yourself by calling them intruders.

領袖=领袖

長袖善舞=长袖善舞

兩袖清風=两袖清风

裙帶關係=裙带关系

衣冠禽獸=衣冠禽兽

竹林七賢=竹林七贤

天體海灘=天体海滩