狗咬呂洞賓 (xie houyu)

What does it mean when someone says「你這麼做真是狗咬呂洞賓」? “What you did is just like a dog biting Lǚ Dong-bin.”

L ǚ Dong-bin is one of the “Eight Immortals,” 八仙(ba xian) in the legend. It’s said that before Lǚ became one of the Eight Immortals, he was a scholar. He had a friend ,苟杳(gou3 mao3), who was orphaned and lived in poverty. Lǚ thought very highly of him. They became sworn brothers and Lǚ took Gou in, hoping he would study hard and become successful.

One day, a guest came to Lǚ’s and was impressed by Gou. He liked the young man so much that he’d like to marry his beautiful sister to him. Lǚ rejected for Gou in fear that it would distract him from his studies. Hearing about the beauty of the guest’s sister, however, Gou insisted on marrying the girl.

After long meditation, Lǚ said to Gou, “ I won’t stop you as long as the bride spends the first three nights with me.” Though reluctant, Gou nodded his head since he was dependent on Lǚ and even couldn’t afford the wedding.

On the wedding night, feeling humiliated, Gou hid himself away from the crowd. Lǚ enter the bride’s room, which was called 洞房(dong4 fang2), the “cave room” in ancient time, and just sat there reading without unveiling the bride. (It’s a traditional custom for the bride to wear a veil on the wedding day and be unveiled by the groom on the wedding night, which was very likely the first time the two met.)

The bride sat on the bed waiting and waiting until the middle of the night. The groom just wouldn’t go to bed, so the bride slept alone without changing. When she woke up in the morning, her husband had been gone. It went on like this for three nights in a row.

Three days later when Gou finally got to enter his room, he saw his bride crying. She asked, “Why did you just sit there reading, ignoring me for three consecutive nights and left me in the morning?” She looked at her husband, only to find a different face.

The couple then realized that Lǚ was urging Gou not to forget about his studies after getting married in this special way. Now they turned their resentment towards Lǚ into gratitude.

A few years later, Gou garnered success in the imperial exam and became a  high-ranking government official. The couple said goodbye to Lǚ and moved away for Gou’s position.

Eight years later, a fire broke out and burned down Lǚ’s house. He’d lost everything he had. He had no other choice but to go to Gou for help.

He went a long way and finally reached Gou’s place. His old friend treated with hospitality but mentioned nothing about helping. Lǚ stayed for several months but got nothing. Embarrassed and humiliated, he left without saying goodbye.

On arriving his hometown, Lǚ was surprised to see from a distance that his shabby cottage had turned into a new house. He was more surprised to see a coffin in the house and his way howling and mourning.

His wife was stunned to see him, thinking that she had seen a ghost.

The truth is, not long after Lǚ left his home, a gang of workers came to build a house and left when they were done. The day before yesterday, some came to inform Lǚ’s wife of Lǚ’s death. They left a coffin behind. That was why the whole family was mourning over his death.

Lǚ split the coffin with an ax and found a lot of gold and jewelry, along with a letter from Gou:

“I’m not someone ungrateful, who will ignore his friends in need. You had left my wife alone and brokenhearted for three nights, so I make your wife weep for you in return.”

The two were closer ever since. From the story came a Xiehouyu, "苟杳呂洞賓，不識好人心," Gou-mao and Lǚ Dong-bin mistake good guys for bad guys. Since Gou’s name pronounces like 狗咬(Gou3 yao3), it changes into today’s version.

Another saying is that Lǚ Dong-bin had once been bitten by a dog he was feeding. So the Xiehouyu is used to describe when someone bites the hand that feeds him.

Since I have the same surname as Lǚ Dong-bin, if my dog should bite me, I can certainly yell to him, “This is really狗咬呂洞賓!”

狗咬呂洞賓=狗咬吕洞宾

不識好人心=不识好人心