Hotel California & 黑店 (Xiehouyu)

The noted rock band Eagles has just finished their performance in Taipei. And there had been some discussions about one of their greatest hits Hotel California 加州旅館(jia zhe lu3 guan) on the newspapers.

People have different interpretations in terms of the song. It is generally believed that the hotel is a metaphor for a rotten and extravagant life, where people drink 酗酒(Xu4 jiu3) or do drugs 嗑藥(ke4 yao4)to their heart’s content. One of the members told the reporters in Taiwan that the song was about a man’s growing process from naïve 天真(tian zhen) to sophisticated 世故(shi4 gu4)

No matter how you see the song, the spooky atmosphere of the song reminds me of a famous 黑店(hei dian4), literally meaning “black store” in the Chinese literature, as well as the Xiehouyu related to it.

Now we call a hotel 飯店(fan4 dian4) or a 旅館(lu4 guan3) and 汽車旅館(qi4 che lu3 guan3) for a motel. In the old times people called an inn 客棧(ke4 zhan4), where people got the board and lodge. And the most noted客棧 in the Chinese literature is probably run by孫二娘(sun er2 niang2), a female character in水滸傳(shui3 hu3 zhuan4), Water Margin, or Outlaws of the Marsh.

It is well-known because some of the customers, especially the plump ones, disappeared after they lodged at her inn. They were killed and served as the meat filling of their 包子(bao zi), the steamed filled bun. Such包子is called 人肉包子(ren2 rou4 bao zi), baozi with human meat filling. Terrifying, isn’t it?

Thus came the Xiehouyu, 孫二娘的店—進不得(sun er2 niang2 de dian4, jin4 bu4 de2), you’d better not enter 孫二娘‘s inn. You can use this Xiehouyu when talking someone out of getting engaged in something.

That’s also why her inn is called黑店.  We’ll use it to call whatever shop where you feel you got ripped off, or irritated by their products of bad quality or bad service.

Another famous 黑店 is 龍門客棧(long2 men2 ke4 zhan4), the Dragon Gate Inn, in the movie of the same title. Like孫二娘的店, it is run by a woman with extreme beauty. Coincidently the owners of these two黑店 and that of the Hotel California are all women. Given that, I’ll have to say, be alert, gentlemen, to the “fatal attraction” of these黑店!

加州旅館=加州旅馆

嗑藥=嗑药

飯店=饭店

汽車旅館=汽车旅馆

客棧=客栈

孫二娘=孙二娘

水滸傳=水浒传

孫二娘的店—進不得=孙二娘的店—进不得

龍門客棧=龙门客栈

意思意思 (Joke)

I recently read a joke about the confusing Chinese phrase 意思(yi4 si).  In the joke the foreigner, who has learned Chinese for 10 years, failed the exam and went home in tears. I’d like to tell you the joke to see how much you understand it. It’s never easy to understand all the 意思 phrases for a non-native-speaker of mandarin. Neither is it easy for me to translate and explain them to you as my English is not so good. But I’ll try my best. Let’s do it just for fun. (To focus on the意思 phrases, I’ll give the rest part of the joke in English.)

A foreigner came to China to take an exam on Chinese after learning it tooth and nail for 10 years. The questions are as follow:

Please explain the following意思 phrases.　　
When bribing an official, Dummy and the official had a dialog that was very有意思(you3 yi4 si)　

　
Official：“你這是什麼意思？” 　
Dummy：“沒什麼意思，意思意思。” 　　
Official：“你這就不夠意思(bu2 gou4 yi4 si)了。” 　　
Dummy：“小意思，小意思(xiao3 yi4 si)。” 　　
Official：“你這人真有意思(zhen you2 yi4 si)。” 　　
Dummy：“其實也沒有別的意思。” 　　
Official：“那我就不好意思(bu4 hao3 yi4 si)了。” 　　
Dummy：“是我不好意思。”

The foreigner handed in a blank sheet and came home in tears.

Are you feeling very 頭大¹ with these phrases? Just read my explanations.

When bribing an official, the dialog between Dummy and the official is very有意思 (interesting)。

　　
Official：“你這是什麼意思？”

(What do you mean by that?)　

Dummy：“沒什麼意思，意思意思。”

(It doesn’t mean anything. Just a little something

to express the least of my humble sincerity.)

*Generally Chinese people like to understate to show their humbleness. Here the bribe would no doubt be of much value.

Official：“你這就不夠意思了。”

(You shouldn’t have. You’re underestimating me or

our friendship by doing this.)

 *When accusing someone of 不夠意思, you’re saying he’s not acting like a real good friend should. The official is showing hypocrisy by accusing Dummy for underestimating him to think that he would do things for him only after taking bribes.

Dummy：“小意思，小意思。”

(Just a little humble stuff to express my sincerity.)

* Dummy’s showing his humbleness too.

Official：“你這人真有意思。”

(You’re such an interesting person.)　

* After hypocritically showing his unwillingness to take the bribe, he showed a sign of diversion.

Dummy：“其實也沒有別的意思。”

(Actually I’m not asking for anything by doing so.

It doesn’t mean anything.)

*Now you see how people sometimes don’t mean what they say?

Official：“那我就不好意思了。”

(If you insist, I might as well take it and ask your

excuse for my seemingly daring and greedy act.)

Dummy：“是我不好意思。”

(It’s me that should be begging for pardon.)

*What else can I say but “hypocrites” about these two? However, such ”hypocrisy” is commonly seen among Chinese. You keep hearing them say不好意思 in daily life when they are getting some favors or gifts. But it’s not necessarily a bad thing to seem “hypocritical.” And here I'm not debasing it. Sometimes it’s just a way to show your modesty.

I hope you’re not so frustrated or with tears. I’d like to congratulate you if you feel these sentences are only小意思, a piece of cake, for you. And don’t push yourself too hard if you can’t handle all of them. If you do so, that will be沒意思(mei2 yi4 si), meaningless, without fun, for you to log on to my blog and read my stuff.

1.     頭大=头大: troubled. Please refer to my previous writing The deer on my heart for more information.

The Earth Bull turns himself over (Natural disaster)

An earthquake of 6.3 magnitude struck Christchurch, New Zealand on Tuesday, killing at least 65 people. Watching the breaking news on CNN reminded me of the devastating 921 Quake hitting the middle part of Taiwan in 1999.

We call an earthquake 地震(di4 zhen4). Chinese in ancient times believed the cause of it was the tossing and turning of a bull sleeping underground, which was why we have the term 地牛翻身(di4 niu2 fan shen)  The aftershock is 餘震(yu2 zhen4)  Sometimes地震 is used to refer to a drastic change. In my previous writing”東施效顰 & Idioms with directions,” I wrote about the phrase人事大搬風(ren2 shi4 da4 ban feng) to describe a major change of the personnel. We also say人事大地震(ren2 shi4 da4 di4 zhen4) to refer to such a situation.

黄河(huang2 he2) the Yellow River, the origin of the Han culture, was infamous for its shifting of course and floods. in Chinese, we call a flood 水災(shui3 zai) or 洪災(hong2 zai). According to statistics, the Yellow River has flooded 1590 times and had 26 major shift of its course in the past 2 thousand years, with an average of two floods in three years and one course shift per century, claiming millions of lives and making countless people homeless each time. No wonder in Chinese we’ll refer to  horrifying or devastating things or people as 洪水猛獸(hong2 shui3 meng3 she4), floods and violent beasts. For example, these days for the China regime, the Internet is the洪水猛獸

And the opposite of the flood would be 旱災(han4 zai), the draught. The upper part of the word 旱, 日(ri4), the sun, has given an important clue about the word. For a long span of time if you only see the sun and no rain, there would be a drought. Someone in Sung Dynasty once wrote a poem about the “four happiest things” in one’s life, one of which is 久旱逢甘霖(jiu3 han4 feng2 gan lin2), it rains after a long drought. The rain is so precious and welcome that it’s depicted as “sweet,” 甘. 久 means long. 逢 means to encounter, and 霖 refers to the rain.

In Taiwan, every summer we’ll have typhoons颱風(tai2 feng), hitting us. And the intensive rain sometimes caused mudslide, 土石流(tu3 shi2 liu2), which could claim lives in seconds. In the summer of 2009, a mountainous village was practically buried like City of Pompeii, killing more than 300 people. As to the tornado, we use 龍捲風(long2 jian3 fen), where the dragon is involved in terms of the strength of the wind.

All the natural disasters are concluded as 天災(tian zai), which is often put together with 人禍(ren2 huo4), manmade calamities as 天災人禍(tian zai ren2 huo4)  In the times when it was believed that natural disasters were triggered by God to punish humans for doing wrong, sometimes the emperor would issue a 罪己昭(zui4 ji3 zhao) to God, where he put the blame on himself and begged God for his mercy not to punish his people. 罪 usually means the crime, but here it means to blame. 己 means self. 昭 is the emperor's announcement. This practice manifested the core value of Confucianism politics.  For an emperor, he has to put people's welfare as top priority, show empathy and treat his people with 仁(ren2), kindliness.

On the afternoon before the 921 Quake happened, I was teaching at a prestigious senior high school. That afternoon I was informed that I would have some extra classes on the next day, which meant I would have 7 periods of class. Learning this, I told my niece I wished the next day would be a day off. But there wouldn’t be any typhoon. “What about an earthquake?” It slipped out of my tongue. I didn’t mean it but that night, the 7.3-magnitute happened.

When you said something bad jokingly and it really happened, we call it一語成讖(yi4 yu3 cheng2 chen4) Ever since the experience mentioned above, I’ve never said that again.

餘震=余震

東施效顰=东施效颦

人事大搬風=人事大搬风

災=灾

洪水猛獸=洪水猛兽

颱風=台风

龍捲風=龙卷风

天災人禍=天灾人祸

一語成讖=一语成谶

掛羊頭賣狗肉 (slang)

Taiwan’s Health Department of food and Drug Administration has been under fire for its intention to demand that the chocolate truffles be changed of its labeling or taken off the shelves due to suspected “deception” claimed by the Consumer Protection Commission that they do not contain “truffle” 松露(song lu4)as the name of the product suggests.

In Chinese, if someone tries to deceive his customers by selling something else he has claimed to sell, we call it掛羊頭賣狗肉(gua4 yang2 tou2 mai4 gou3 rou4), to hang a goat’s head (outside your store ) but sell dog meat.

FDA’s act triggered so much criticism that it made a turnaround later. Chocolate truffles are called so for their appearance, but not their ingredients. If FDA calls this “deception,” I can give you a long list of products that should be taken off the shelves, including many cuisines or snacks seen everywhere in Taiwan.

For example, Taiwan’s well-known drink 珍珠奶茶(zhen zhu nai3 cha2), pearl milk tea. Do you actually see “pearls” in it? In宜蘭Yi-lan’s specialty snack 牛舌餅(niu2 she2 bing3) beef tongue crackers, you don’t see beef tongue either. Nor do you see coffin in 棺材板(guan cai2 ban3), coffin board, a Tainan specialty snack popular in night market.

When you walk into a Chinese restaurant and look at the menu, I believe you’ll get amazed and confused by the name of the cuisines if they are translated literally. We have紅燒獅子頭(hong2 shao shi zi tou2), stewed “lion’s head” in brown sauce; We have 螞蟻上樹(ma3 yi3 shang4 shu4), “ants climbing up the tree;” We have 蒼蠅頭(cang ying2 tou2), “fly’s head.” What would you like to order?

Like chocolate truffles, most of the “horrifying food” mentioned above are named for their appearance. 珍珠, refers to 粉圓(fen3 yuan2), pearl-like balls made from sweat potato powder. 牛舌餅 is crackers with the shape resembling a cow’s tongue. 棺材板 is made of a thick slice of toast. 獅子頭is meat balls from pork.

螞蟻上樹 is ground pork fried with 粉絲(fen3 si), cellophane noodles or bean thread noodles. (Please notice it’s a food instead of “fans” as it is sometimes used to refer to.) Here the “ants” are actually the ground pork. It is said when the woman who invented the dish presented it to her diseased mom-in-law in bed, the poor- sighted woman asked, “Why are there ants in the dish?”

What about the gross蒼蠅頭? It’s just another example of our thrift. A cook fried the roots of leeks, which were usually thrown away, with 豆豉(dou4 shi4), Chinese fermented black beans spicy, and豆瓣醬(dou4 ban4 jiang4), salty paste made from fermented soybeans and made it a dish. Look at the dish, and you’ll know why it got the name.

Now you see my dad certainly did not掛羊頭賣狗肉when he named me. And you can never ask me to go “off the shelf” by claiming that I’m not such a lady 淑女(shu2 nu3) as part of my name suggests----Well, I look “like” one.

掛羊頭賣狗肉=挂羊头卖狗肉

宜蘭=宜兰

牛舌餅=牛舌饼

紅燒獅子頭=红烧狮子头

螞蟻上樹=蚂蚁上树

蒼蠅頭苍蝇头

粉絲=粉丝

豆瓣醬=豆瓣酱

The deer on my heart (Body)

In Justin Bieber’s One Time, he sings, “. . . butterflies in my stomach won’t stop stop.” Here “butterflies in someone’s stomach” refers to the nervous or excited feelings one have. Some students showed an expression of disgusted when I explained the phrase literally. We have a similar expression in Chinese to describe such feelings when you see someone you have a crush on, we say 心頭小鹿亂撞(xin tou2 xiao3 lu4 luan4 zhuang4), the deer on your heart’s stampeding.

You心頭小鹿亂撞when you see your 心上人(xin shang4 ren2), the one on your heart; that is, the one you love or have a crush on. You might be absent-minded thinking about your心上人. 心不在焉(xin bu2 zei4 yan). 焉 means here, your mind is not here. You feel 傷心(shang xin), sad, or 心碎(xin cui4), heart-broken when you see your 心上人 is with someone else.

You’re hard-headed because you’re not easily moved or deceived. In Chinese, we have a similar expression 硬著頭皮(ying4 zhe tou2 pi2), to harden one’s scalp, but with different meaning. For example, it is known just an hour before a play starts that the protagonist can’t make it for an accident. Being the only one who knows his part, though you’re not prepared, you have to pluck up your courage, leave your nervousness behind, walk onto the stage and just do it. You are left with no other choice but硬著頭皮to do it.

When you’re troubled by some problem you’re unable to solve, you’ll say 這問題讓我很頭大(zhe4 wen4 ti2 rang4 wo3 hen3 tou2 da4), literally meaning “this problem really makes me big-headed.” But in English, big-headed means conceit. Now we take this English expression and make a Chinese phrase 大頭症(da4 tou2 zheng4), big-headedness.

A couple of months ago I kept hearing a commercial on ICRT, an English radio in Taiwan, from an English teaching institute, where it said, “Do you have trouble learning English grammar? Let our experts help you and solve your大頭症” English teachers to cure you of your big-headedness?

Hearing this wrong expression, I really had an impulse to call this institute and tell them, being an English-teaching institute with so many “experts,” they really should pay more attention not to make errors of this kind.

When a friend goes to you for a shoulder to cry on, you want to play the role of a good listener and say, “I’m all ears.” In Chinese, when you’re ready to listen to others, especially advice or teaching form your superiors or someone you respect, you say 洗耳恭聽(xi3 er3 gong ting), you wash your ears and listen respectfully.

If you’re worried about something or someone, or you’re missing someone a lot, you may say 牽腸掛肚(qian chang2 gua4 du4) to describe what it is like to be haunted by those thoughts. 牽掛 means to worry, to have something on your mind. 腸 is your intestine while 肚 is your belly, stomach. Though your intestine has nothing to do with your thought, I think here we use it for its long and winding shape, comparing it to the subtle feelings that never seems to end. 

Last year I got the admission of a grad school but was replaced because I forgot to check in to the school on the designated date, which was nothing like me to do. I was visiting China and left this all behind me. Perhaps I

took it too lightly, which is 不把它放在心上(bu4 ba2 ta fang4 zei4 xin shang4), not keep something in your mind. It turns out that next week I have to take another entrance exam for another grad school, which means I have to cut down on my writing for the coming week and 專心(zhuan xin), focus my mind on preparing for it.

But please 放心(fang4 xin), relax and don’t worry. I’m talking about cutting it down. Even if I won’t show up for a whole week, I’ll come back when I’m done with it. Though I’m not well-prepared, I’ll 硬著頭皮to finish the exam.

心頭小鹿亂撞=心头小鹿乱撞

傷心=伤心

硬著頭皮=硬着头皮

這問題讓我很頭大=这问题让我很头大

大頭症=大头症

洗耳恭聽=洗耳恭听

牽腸掛肚=牵肠挂肚

專心=专心

燈不點不亮—Keys to the riddles (Xiehouyu)

Well, it’s Lantern Festival today. And all the lanterns are supposed to be lit up tonight. The act of lighting up a lantern is called 點燈(dian3 deng) We have a xiehouyu related to this, which is my title today. 燈不點不亮(deng bu4 dian3 bu2 liang4), if you don’t light up a lantern, you won’t get illuminated. It’s the same if you don’t speak up your mind. So the latter part of this Xiehouyu will be 話不說不明(hua4 bu4 shou bu4 ming2)

I use the title because yesterday I left you some riddles to solve, and now I’m giving the keys, which is like lighting up a lantern for you, which is something proper to do today.

Part I: Each of the following questions has a key of a Chinese

        character.

1.  Woman → 好(hao3), good

好 is a combination of 女(nu3) and 子(zi3), 女子 refers to women, Contrary to 男子(nan2 zi3), man.

2. Three women. → 姦(jian) adultery or rape

  While 女子 means good, three women put together won’t be anything good. It means adultery in 通姦(tong jian), or rape in 強姦(qiang2 jian)

3. Fifteen persons → 傘(san3), umbrella

The word is made up of a 十(shi2), ten, and five 人(ren), person.  Put them all together makes 15 persons.

4. Two woods → 林(lin2), woods, also a common family name

  When a person with 林Lin as his family name, he often introduces himself as 雙木林(shang mu4 lin2), double woods.

  You can say 松木林(song mu4 ling2) or 松林to refer to pine woods.

5. Three woods. → 森(sen), forest

  森 is often put together with 林 as 森林(san lin2) to mean a forest. It means stern or strongly fortified as in 戒備森嚴(Jie4 bei4 sen yan2)

6. A rabbit without its tail. → 免(mian3), exempt, relieve, avoid

  Delete the “、” in rabbit 兔(tu), you get the word 免

  It means to exempt as in 免服兵役(mian3 fu2 bing yi4), to be exempted from military service

7. A king gets a tail. → 玉(yu4), jade

  Add a “、” to 王(wong2), king, you get a 玉, jade.

8. Two worms under the spring. →蠢(chun3), stupid, silly

  The word 蠢 is a 春, spring plus with two 虫(hui3), worm.

  It is often put together with 愚(yu2) as 愚蠢(yu2 chun3), stupid.

9. A bird by the river. → 鴻(hong2) , a species of bird, or big

  The left part of the word is 江, a river, and the right is 鳥, bird, which tells you it’s a kind of bird. But it also means big. Besides “揚眉兔氣(yiang2 mei2 tu4 qi4)” as I put in my previous writing, another phrase you keep hearing these days would be 鴻兔大展(hong2 tu4 da4 zhan3) from 鴻圖大展(hong2 tu2 da4 zhan3), which means to have a big and prosperous career.

10. It keeps raining in the spring and the widow is alone at home. →一(yi), one

 (Hint: Start with the word spring 春(chun) Delete parts of it according to the riddle and you get a simple word.)

 This is another type of riddle, which you delete parts of a word according to the hint. In this one, we use the word 春as in 春雨(chun yu3) spring rain. Since it’s raining, there won’t be the sun, 日(ri4)  We first delete the 日 from the word. Then a widow is someone without husband, which is 夫(fu) Delete the 夫 and the only thing left is 一, one.

Part II: Guess the latter part of the following Xiehouyu.

1.  寡婦死了兒子(gua3 fu4 si3 le er2 zi3) A widow is bereaved of her son. → 沒指望(mei2 zhi3 wong4), hopeless

In the past, a woman depended on her husband for her life, or her son if she was widowed. For a widow, if she was bereaved of her only son, there wouldn’t be any hope for her. She was totally on her own.

2.  廁所裡的石頭( ce4 suo3 li3 de shi2 tou2)A stone in the toilet.

  → 又臭又硬(you4 chou4 you4 ying4), stinky and hard

  Unlike modern bathroom, toilets in the past were stinky. A stone in the toilet would no wonder be stinky and hard. This is used to refer to someone who is stubborn and difficult to get along with.

3.   豬八戒照鏡子(zhu ba jie4 zhao4 jing zi3)  Zhu ba jie looks into the mirror. (This one I’ve mentioned in my previous writing with the same title.) → 裡外不是人(li3 wai4 bu3 shi4 ren2), 
    When Ahu ba jie, a pig, looks into the mirror, he won’t see any reflection of a person. This is used to describe the difficult situation someone is stuck in when he can please no one by taking any side.
4. 大姑娘上花轎(da4 gu niang2 shang4 hua jiao4) A young lad gets on 花轎, a wheelless man-power transport for the bride.

 → 頭一遭(tou2 yi4 zao), for the first time

 In traditional Chinese wedding, 花轎 was used for taking the bride from her mother’s home to the husband’s, but only for her first marriage, not for those remarried. As a result, for any bride to get on花轎, it would be her first time.

If you ask me anything about blgging, I’ll say I don’t know much because for me, it’s 大姑娘上花轎

5.  外甥打燈籠(wai4 sheng da3 deng long2)  A nephew handles a lantern. 照舊(舅)(zhao4 jiu4), as usual, nothing has changed

When a nephew handles a lantern, it would be for his uncle on his mother’s side,舅  And the uncle will be illuminated 照. 舊, usual, old, sounds the same as 舅, thus makes the phrase照舊. For example, if you ask how I celebrated this Chinese New Year, I’ll say外甥打燈籠. We ate and cooked and played Majung with family as what we did in the past.

燈不點不亮=灯不点不亮

通姦=通奸

傘=伞

雙木林=双木林

戒備森嚴=戒备森严

鴻圖大展=鸿图大展

寡婦死了兒子=寡妇死了儿子

廁所裡的石頭=厕所里的石头

豬八戒照鏡子=猪八戒照镜子

大姑娘上花轎=大姑娘上花轿

外甥打燈籠=外甥打灯笼