仆街—吃飽了撐著 (up-to-date term)

Sometimes when you go dinging at an all-you-can-eat restaurant, you might unconsciously eat more than you usually do and get full up. We’ll call this 吃撐了(chi cheng le), getting too full.

So when someone seems to have too much time on hand and is up to something meaningless, such as meddling into others’ affair that is none of his concern, we’ll say he’s吃飽了撐著(chi bao3 le cheng zhe), getting too full up.

Recently the term has been related to a new craze “planking” in a news report as my title. Planking,” or the act of lying face down for a photo op in weird and wonderful places. It carried on largely unnoticed until recently, gaining popularity in Australia and New Zealand. Since then it has become the latest Internet craze.

                                    (from NOWnews.com)

This craze is called 仆街(pu jie) in Taiwan, which is from Cantonese. Not speaking any Cantonese, I checked on the net and found several explanations about this term. In general the word 仆 means to fall; 街is street. The two words are combined to mean to fall, to drop dead on the street, which is a rude curse.

Two women from Taipei also jumped on the bandwagon. They made a name for themselves planking around Taiwan. They also received different responses from people around, from admiration to raised eyebrows. The craze caught even more attention after a young Australia man falling from a balcony when planking.

Somehow the Internet crazes, such as the flash mob 快閃族(kuai4 shan3 zhu2) and the仆街, remind me of the movie Rebels Without A Cause, where James Dean plays the extremely dangerous game of jumping out of the speeding car rushing to the cliff. It seems to have been so natural for young people, now or before, to attraction attention by some “meaningless,” or even “fatal” acts. To a lot of people, their acts might be scorned as senseless and 吃飽了撐著.

I don’t know why, but there’s a saying going around as 醜人多作怪(chou3 ren2 duo zuo4 guai4), ugly people like to stand out with their bizarre acts, which I think has a great influence on the acts of my generation. Since we were young, we were taught not to be different from others. We were asked to put on uniforms, wear the same hairstyle, carry the same book bag, read the same textbooks, and share the same values. We took caution not to stand out with different looks or acts, so that we would be left alone and wouldn’t be labelled as醜人多作怪, which I personally consider a discrimination to ugly people. The point is you don’t like someone’s looks. Consequently whatever he wears, whatever he does, it’s 作怪. But, who wants to be labelled as ugly anyway? You behave yourself as a result.

However, there has always been a craze for being unique. We’re afraid of being different, but we WANT to be different. We’re afraid of 作怪, but we WANT to作怪. So when someone came up with the idea of flash mob or planking, with the help of internet, many young people follow the trend to作怪 . It’s not so 作怪on the other hand, since so many people are doing the same thing. When people are snorting or criticizing such an act as meaningless, those young people might ask, “who says we should always do something ‘meaningful’?”

Back to the title of the report, it does not carry any negative implication about this planking stuff. It uses the term吃飽了撐著literally since in planking, you need to support撐著your body with the strength of your muscles around the belly and the back, which is strenuous.

I’d better exercise my brains to figure out something novel but not so strenuous for people of my generation to作怪. To get my inspiration, I should perhaps grab some food and feed myself first. After all, you got to be 吃飽了 before you got 撐著

吃飽了撐著=吃饱了撑着
快閃族=快闪族
醜人多作怪=丑人多作怪  

看殺衛玠 & 擲果盈車 – Handsome men in ancient China (II) (Chop suey)

As to the build, 虎背熊腰was not preferred. Instead, 玉樹臨風(yu4 shu4 lin3 feng) became a compliment to men. 玉樹 literally means a jade tree; 臨風 means to encounter the wind, or in the wind. The tall and slim figure is compared to a jade tree. Imagine a tall slender man standing with his sleeves and robe blowing in the wind. A man with such a build and temperament was considered handsome in 魏晉 time.

Of all the handsome men, I think the most famous one should be 潘安(pan an)(247-300) When we want to compliment a man for his good-looking, we often call him潘安再世(pan an zhai4 shi4), a reborn潘安.

It is recorded that whenever 潘安 went out, there would always be a big crowd of girls or women following him like fans chasing after their idols today. To show their admiration, they threw him flowers or fruits. The fruits were so abundant that they filled Pan’s carriage. That’s what the idiom擲果盈車(zhi2 guo3 yeng2 ju ) means. 擲 means to throw or to give. 果, fruit. 盈, to fill, 車, the carriage.

Can you imagine that a man could be so handsome that he was “stared” to death? In history we do have such a story recorded. His name is衛玠(wei4 jie4)（285-312）

His beauty was depicted as 明珠(ming2 zhu),玉潤(yu4 run4), which respectively means bright as a pearl and glossy as jade. When he decided to move to the capital, hearing about his reputation as an extremely good-looking man, crowds of people flooded to where he was to see him. The street was full of those curious fans besieging Wei. Surrounded by the circles of people, Wei could hardly budge. It is said that he went home and died. The is the origin of the term看殺衛玠. 看 means to look, or to stare. 殺to kill. Weijie was stared to death.

Historically we have a lot of stories about how a beautiful woman had led to a collapse of a country or a dynasty. Those women are often called 禍水紅顏(huo4 shui3 hong2 yan2), and their beauty 傾國傾城(qieng3 guo2 qieng3 cheng2). Literally禍水means trouble-making water, which refers to a trouble maker. 紅顏 refers to a beautiful woman. 傾 means to tilt, to topple; 國refers to a nation while城, a city. 

Naturally there would be some handsome men who had accomplished extraordinary achievement with the help of their looks. 和珅, or Heshen, (1746-1799) the favorite Manchu official of the Qianlong Emperor, one of the biggest corruptive Chinese officials, the richest in the 18^th Century, is one example.

He caught the attention of the top official, which equals to today’s prime minister, with his handsome looks and witty remarks. He is described to have a fair and white complexion as well as a玉樹臨風 figure. When the prime minister met him, he was impressed with his face that was like a “boiled egg covered with powder,” and his “bright eyes with two long eyebrows.” He later married his granddaughter off this good-looking young man.

Of course he couldn’t have achieved what he had only with his looks. He also got excellent diplomacy and ass-kissing 拍馬屁(pai ma3 pi4). According to the unofficial history, he became Qianlong’s favorite because he looked very much like a late concubine of Qianlong's that was said to have been executed for Qianlong’s sake, which had burdened the emperor with guilt.

Heshen gathered an extremely huge fortune during his official career of 24 years. When Qianlong’s successor the Jaqing Emperor confiscated his fortune, according to the Wikipedia, “his total property was ultimately estimated at around 1,100 million taels 兩(liang3) of silver, reputedly estimated to be an amount equivalent to the imperial revenue of the Qing government for 15 years.”

Be it a man or woman, having a beautiful appearance, is, as what I had mentioned before, like water, for it can not only carry over a boat, but also topple it. 水能載舟(shui4 neng2 zai4 zhou)，亦能覆舟(yi4 neng2 fu4 zhuo) It doesn’t mean you are especially blessed, or the other way, cursed. We often say you can’t judge a book by its cover. Anyway, time is a fair sculptor. Everyone gets ugly when they grow old. For those beautiful people, it might be even tougher for them to see themselves getting uglier. George Clooney might have had plastic surgery as he had admitted. So might Tom Cruise, Johnny Depp, . . . Still, you can tell. Beauty has its “shelf life.”

Does it take anything else to be liked?

玉樹臨風=玉树临风

擲果盈車=掷果盈车

看殺衛玠=看殺卫玠

玉潤=玉润

禍水紅顏=祸水红颜

傾國傾城=倾国倾城

拍馬屁=拍马屁

兩=两

載舟=载舟

看殺衛玠 & 擲果盈車 – Handsome men in ancient China (I) (Chop suey)

Ever since I wrote “Angelina Jolie would be ugly,” I’ve been doing some little research on the handsome men in ancient China. What were the criteria for a man to be considered good-looking?

There is a story in the chapter容止(rong2 zhi3) of 世說新語(shi4 shuo shin yu3) Tales of the New Era. Emperor Wu of Wei ,曹操(cao2 cao)  had to meet with a messenger from Xiongnu. Regarding himself as too ugly to impress the foreigner, Cao asked a handsome man to replace him, with himself holding a knife standing by.

Later on, Cao sent a spy to ask the messenger about what he thought of the Emperor Wu of Wei. The latter replied, “Emperor Wu of Wei is elegant-looking, but the one with the knife by the side is a real hero!” Hearing this, Cao dispatched a killer to assassin the messenger on his way back.

The author didn’t tell us why Cao had killed the messenger. Perhaps it was because he couldn’t bear to see such a wise and shrewd man in other country, or the fact that there was someone smarter to see through him in the world. My point here is that it’s rare to see in the history that a man so powerful as Cao should care so much about his looks, or think so highly of appearance as a factor to make a messenger awed.

The later part of this chapter is devoted to the descriptions of the famed good-looking men in魏晉南北朝, Period of Disunity, or Wei, Jin, and the Southern and Northern Dynasties , first disunion (220-589).

As the name of the dynasty suggests, it was a long period of disunity and civil wars. With the chaos and uncertainty, a new trend emerged – indulgence in, morals out! So did a crave for exterior beauty. A book with a whole chapter talking about how some men look would be slashed as senseless at a pro-Confucianism time.

From most of the books I’ve read, they often described a man as 方面大耳(fang mian4 da4 er3), literally meaning a squared face with big ears, which has been a traditionally favored looks for a man. We call it 福相(fu2 xiang4) and think that men with such a face are blessed. As to the build, a macho man with “a tiger’s back and a bear’s waist” 虎背熊腰(hu3 bei4 xong2 yao) is admired.

But in the chapter mentioned above, we see some different criteria for a man to be considered good-looking at that time. In a word, “macho” 陽剛(yang2 gang)was out; feminine beauty 陰柔美(yin rou2 mei3) was in.

As I said, during the chaotic魏晉 time, people got indulgent to wine and drugs. Yes, drugs is nothing fresh. It is said that people were taking a drug called 五石散(wu3 shi2 san3), which gave you a bright and tender complexion. It corresponded with the notion that a handsome man, like a beautiful woman, had to have a white skin that was soft and tender and jade-like.

In classical novels, we read a lot of male protagonists depicted as 白面書生(bai2 mian4 shu sheng), a white-faced student. The application of powder 敷粉(fu fen) was not limited to women. It had even become a trend back then. The flashy men with make-up you meet in 銀座, Japan, is nothing fresh, and neither is the herbivore man.

To be a白面書生, men had to shave off their mustache, which was another trendy thing for the gorgeous men to do during the魏晉 period. They also loved to burn incense upon themselves薰香(xuen xiang)like wearing perfume today.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

看殺衛玠=看杀卫玠

擲果盈車=掷果盈车

世說新語=世说新语

魏晉南北朝=魏晋南北朝

陽剛=阳刚

陰柔美=阴柔美

白面書生=白面书生

銀座=银座

Eating a whore on Royal Caribbean? (the end) (Hilarious errors)

Let’s continue with our cruise at the buffet on Royal Caribbean.

The error for this one is the word “dressing,” which is translated in relation to clothing, 裝束(zhuang shu4). When referring to the clothes someone’s wearing, we can also use 衣著(yi zhuo2)or 裝扮(zhuang ban4). Here the dressing should be 沙拉醬(sha la jiang4) in Chinese. Creamy Italian Dressing should be 義式奶油沙拉醬(yi4 shi4 nai3 you2 sha la jiang4)

According to Wikipedia, Split peas are the dried, peeled and split seeds of Pisum sativum. I saw a picture of yellow split peas on it and assume that green split peas are in the same family but with different color. Taken out from “split peas,” the word split does mean 分裂(fen lie4) or 斷絕(duan4 jue2) as used in a relationship. But here you don’t need to separate it. Just call the soup 綠豌豆湯(lu4 wan dou4 tang) or 豌豆湯 is enough.

The cuisine is translated as 花園成為綠色(hua yuan2 cheng2 wei2 lu4 se4), The garden is turning to green, which is no doubt a product of an automatic translator. In some of Taiwan’s western-style restaurants, you’ll see 庭園沙拉(ting2 yuan2 sha la) on the menu, which I think is what this花園成為綠色mean. Here greens refer to the various vegetables, but not the color green.

The last one is the most horrible one, with none of it right, which also makes my title for this article. Here chicken is put as 膽小(dan3 xiao3), cowardly. But chicken should be 雞肉(ji rou4) when used as a food. Mushroom is 蘑菇(mo2 gu). Thanks to this, now I know it also refers to anything of similar shape or correspondingly rapid growth, which is why it is put as 迅速增長的(xun4 su4 zeng zhang3 de).

The last two words on the list is 妓女(ji4 nu3), prostitute. How come this word would be on a menu? I checked the dictionary and found that in slang usage, tart could be a prostitute or promiscuous woman. No wonder it has turned to a妓女from a food, 餡餅(xian4 bing3). I think the correct translation should be 雞肉磨菇餡餅(ji rou4 mo2 gu xian4 bing3)

Perhaps there’s no need to be too harsh to whoever has put down those names. Here in Taiwan we encounter some hilarious mistranslations too. No customer gets puzzled as they know what it is when seeing the food. Maybe they did this on purpose to make us laugh. Nothing serves as a better appetizer than laughter. Want some clumsy actors or promiscuous women? Bon appétit!

裝束=装束

衣著=衣着

沙拉醬=色拉酱

義式奶油沙拉醬=义式奶油色拉酱

斷絕=断绝

綠豌豆湯=绿豌豆汤

花園成為綠色=花园成为绿色

庭園沙拉=庭园色拉

膽小=胆小

雞肉=鸡肉

迅速增長的=迅速增长的

雞肉磨菇餡餅=鸡肉磨菇馅饼

Eating a whore on Royal Caribbean? (I) (Hilarious errors)

I got an email with a joke and some pictures in it. The writer of the joke claimed that he had got the pictures from a friend, who had taken them at the buffet on the Royal Caribbean.

It’s about some hilarious mistranslations of the cuisines. I have to say I’m not sure about the authenticity of these pictures. It could be real as the writer had claimed, or as you know what’s like with the virtual world, someone had just made it up to entertain us. Whatever it is, it is just too far-fetched and hilarious to be ignored. I’m picking out some of them here for you.

The first one is English Bacon, which is translated into 英語培根(ying yu3 pei2 gen) or英语培根as you see in the picture in simplified Chinese. Does it mean the beacon speaks English? In fact the right translation should be 英式培根(ying shi4 pei2 gen), which indicates the origin or the style of the beacon, but not the “language” of the beacon, because 英語 refers to the English language. I think the mistake was made by someone without much  knowledge about the Chinese language, who just resorted to an automatic language translator as many people do today.

For this one we have to pay more attention to the left half, Regular Milk, which is put as 規則牛奶(gui ze2 niu2 nai3)，or規則牛奶. Milk with regulations? 規則 means rules or regulations as in traffic regulations, 交通規則(jiao tong gui ze2). But it has many other meanings. Here it should be 一般牛奶(yi4 ban niu2 nai3), regular or normal milk, to be contrast to the Half &Half.

This one mixes the beef with a mess of unorganized message雜亂信號(za2 luan4 xin4 hao4). 醃牛肉(yan niu2 rou4)is enough for Corned beef. The usage of the adjective form 鹽醃的(yan2 yan de) is unnecessary and redundant. The punch line here is the latter part 雜亂信號, which is one of the meanings hash has that has nothing to do with food. Judging from the info I get in the dictionary, it should be 煎醃牛肉(jian yan niu2 rou4) or 牛肉燉菜(niu2 rou4 dun cai4), depending on the way it is cooked or the ingredients.

As to this one I’d like to start from the latter part “Bamboo Shot Salad,” which I doubt if the word “shot” is a misspelling of “shoot.” Bamboo shoot is 竹筍(zhu2 sun3). Bamboo shoot salad is竹筍沙拉(zhu2 sun3 sha la), and the word的(de) is unnecessary.

The former part “Ham” is 火腿(huo3 gui3) in Chinese. But again it is translated into something that has nothing to do with food. Instead, it is translated into 笨拙的演員(ben4 zhuo2 de yan3 yuan2), a clumsy actor. I checked the dictionary and found out the word ham could be used to refer to an actor or performer who overacts. But I believe in the dictionary the term火腿would be on top of the meanings. Did the one who put down the Chinese just go from bottom of the list with every word? That is a really unlikely and unusual practice. Or did he just find out that he’d had enough of those stupid or overacting actors and decide to eat them all?

(TO BE CONTINUED)

雜亂信號=杂乱信号

鹽醃的=盐腌的

牛肉燉菜=牛肉炖菜

竹筍=竹笋

笨拙的演員=笨拙的演员

Angelina Jolie would be ugly (Chop suey)

Angelina Jolie would be considered ugly were she born in the ancient China.

And she is not alone. So is Julia Roberts, and Goldie Hawn, and . . . .

It’s not my intention to disparage these stars. I just want to bring up the topic how Chinese people had defined beauty in the past.

Though there have been different tastes for beauty at different times, we’d never seemed to have a taste for wide and plump lips like those of the actresses mentioned above, which are considered sexy today.

The ancient beauties had always been depicted as to have a 櫻桃小(口)嘴(ying tao2 xiao3 (kou3) zui3), literally meaning cherry little mouth. Watch the portraits of them closely and you’ll know. Ancient Chinese would be puzzled by the request Goldie Hawn made in the film Death Becomes Her to her plastic surgeon to implant her lips. We even have a  term for a wide mouth--血盆大口(xie3 pen2 da4 kou3), a bloody basin-like big mouth, which is definitely not a compliment.

As to the complexion, without exception it had to be snow-white and had the smooth texture of grease clot. In 詩經(shi jing)，Classic of Poetry or Book of Odes, there’s a line膚若凝脂(fu ruo4 ning2 zhi3). 膚is skin; 若, like; 凝, clot; 脂, grease. For the majority of women who had to labor under the sun and get tanned, there was no way for them to have such a complexion.

Today we’re still saying 一白遮三醜(yi4 bai2 zhe san chou3), literally meaning a white complexion can cover up three ugliness; some people even exaggerate it as “nine” ugliness. See the abundant commercials for whitening cosmetics in Taiwan, especially in summer, you’ll realize this craze for white skin.

For the eyebrows, they had to be long and bent like the antennas of a moth, which are called 蛾眉(e2 mei2) in詩經. Or sometimes we use the willow leaves to describe them--柳(葉)眉(liu3 (ye4) mei2).

(from bongta.com )

Lucy Alexis Liu has a typical pair of so-called “phoenix eyes,” 鳳眼(fong4 yian3) which are long and narrow in shape, with the end slightly up. Women with this kind of eyes are said to be man-killers. When I was watching Leona Lewis singing on Youtube, I found out she has an extraordinarily beautiful pair of 鳳眼. And from the way she’s watching around or staring, I realize what 美目盼兮(mei3 mu4 pan4 xi) means as is called in詩經.

Like modern women, a lot of ancient women had to suffer to cater to the men’s tastes, even when they were extreme or sometimes sickly abnormal. Though foot binding 纏足(chan2 zhu2) had only been a practice for about one thousand years among women of upper class, it was not the only suffering women had gone through.

Like in Han Dynasty, we had a beauty 趙飛燕(zhao4 fei yan4), a dancing girl who got the name for her slim figure and agile dance, which means a flying swallow. Legend had it that once when she was dancing, a gust of wind blew over and almost took her away. During the times when slimness is in, plenty of women have to hunger themselves. We have a line that goes as 楚王好細腰，宮中多餓死(chu3 wong2 ai4 xi4 yao, gong zhong duo e4 si3) , many of King Ling of Chu’s concubines starved to death because he cared for slender waists. It’s just the same with the models that died of anorexia today.

When it comes to women’s figure, we often say 環肥燕瘦(huan2 fei2 yan4 shou4) to represent two different builds. 趙飛燕 represents the slim, whereas 楊玉環(yang2 yu4 huan2)，or 楊貴妃(yang2 gui4 fei) represents the plump. Usually 肥 means obesity. Being one of the four most famed beauties in the Chinese history, 楊玉環 would never be to the extent of “obesity,” I guess. It only implies the comparatively “healthier” taste for beauty in Tang Dynasty.

For a while there had been a taste for “sickly beauty.” Foot binding is an example; 西施捧心 as I introduced before* is another. 林黛玉(lin2 dai4 yu4), a character of the classic novel 紅樓夢(hong2 lou2 meng4), Dream of the Red Chamber, is the typical of a sickly beauty in the Chinese literature. Some men are crazy about those weak and pale looking women, perhaps because their sympathy is aroused, and so is their intention to become heroes to protect those delicate beauties.  

Well, for those who are no beauties whether from the ancient or modern points of view like me, at least we don’t have to worry about dying young or being doomed, as what we say 紅顏薄命(hong2 yan2 bo2 ming4). 紅顏refers to a beauty; 薄, thin; 命, longevity or destiny. It is said so since a lot of well-known beauties were either given to a king as a contribution (like 西施) or ended up miserable for being jealous by others, or even by God.  

*note: Please read my previous writing in Feb, 東施效顰& idioms with directions.

櫻桃小(口)嘴=樱桃小(口)嘴

詩經=诗经

膚若凝脂=肤若凝脂

一白遮三醜=一白遮三丑

柳(葉)眉=柳(叶)眉

鳳眼=凤眼

纏足=缠足

趙飛燕赵飞燕

楚王好細腰，宮中多餓=死楚王好细腰，宫中多饿死

環肥燕瘦=环肥燕瘦

楊玉環=杨玉环

楊貴妃=杨贵妃

紅樓夢=红楼梦

紅顏薄命=红颜薄命