Prince white horse and the ring (Custom)

With the world watching and cheering for the wedding of Prince William and Kate, I noticed a report on the difficulty Prince William had when putting the ring on Kate’s finger. The journalist jokingly commented he wondered if Kate had been “instructed” by a 高人(gao ren2), a capable man or an expert. (But it has nothing to do his height.)

To understand what the journalist means, you have to know some Taiwanese customs concerning engagement. But before I talk about this, I’d like to deal with the term “prince white horse,” 白馬王子(bai2 ma3 wang2 zi3) first.

It’s what we call prince charming in Mandarin. I tried to find out the origin of the phrase, but in vain. I guess it more or less has something to do the fairy tales like Snow White and Sleeping Beauty, where the prince, who bravely rescued the spell-bound princess, always shows up on a white horse perhaps, as I remember when reading those stories as a little girl?

Anyway, 白馬王子has always been every girl’s dream. Since the moment when they start to read those fairy tales or upon their puberty, more or less they have their own image of白馬王子in their mind. And having a romantic of luxurious wedding like Prince William and Kate’s may be, a dream come true for a lot of girls.

After a Taiwanese girl meets her白馬王子, goes through the process of a relationship and decides to marry him, there would be an engagement ceremony, which is optional, and a wedding like most westerners do. Westernized as we are, we have many customs that unique to us.

First of all, prince charming’s parents , or the elder members of the family if either of the parents can’t be there, have to go to the girl’s place to meet her parents and 提親(ti2 qin), literally meaning to mention the wedding , which could be considered an official proposal. Though arranged marriage 媒妁之言(mei2 shuo4 zhi yan2) is no longer practiced, a matchmaker, 媒人(mei2 ren2) will go with the bridegroom’s parents as a formal matchmaker as it used to be.

The purpose of the ritual is to make sure parents of both sides agree with this marriage and decide some details, such as the date, the place of the wedding, 聘金(pin4 jin)，嫁妝(jia4 zhuang)，and喜餅(xi3 bing3)

聘金is the money from the bridegroom’s family to the bride’s family. 嫁妝is the dowry. You have to know in Chinese, we use different word for getting married. For the bridegroom, he is going to 娶(qu3) a woman; for the bride, she is going to 嫁(jia4) a man. That’s why dowry is called嫁妝.These days people are not so particular about these. Very often the bride’s parents will return the 聘金and the bridegroom’s family won’t ask fro any嫁妝 at all.

But the bridegroom’s family has to pay for the 喜餅, the wedding biscuit. Distributing the wedding biscuit is a way to let the bride’s relatives and friends to know about the coming wedding. The bride’s family has to count how many喜餅they’ll need and the bridegroom will pay for them. When you get a喜餅, you know someone’s daughter is getting married.

The engagement is held at the bride’s place. The bridegroom’s family and relatives as well as the matchmaker, usually in a lucky even number, go to the bride’s place at the appointed time. The bride will show up holding a plate with cups of tea to serve the guests. The guests take a cup of tea and put a red envelop on the plate.

The highlight of the engagement would be the couple’s exchange of rings. Almost every Taiwanese mom will emphasize to their son or daughter that they should bend their finger a bit when the ring is being put, so that the ring won’t go to the bottom of it.

Why? According to our great great grandmas, if you let your other half put the ring to the bottom of your finger very easily, you’ll get controlled or “bullied” by him or her for the rest of your life. That’s why everyone’s holding his breath and watching the couple if they are doing what their moms tell them. Tricky, uh? The “war” of manipulation starts even before the wedding!

That’s why I think every Taiwanese was laughing in his sleeve when seeing Prince Williams having a hard time putting the ring. Kate, you sly fox, have you been “coached” by a Taiwanese? 

提親=提亲

嫁妝=嫁妆

喜餅=喜饼

Bwa3-bui 跋杯 (III) (Custom)

In traditional Taiwanese beliefs, a deceased won’t realize the fact that he himself has passed away until the sixth or seventh day. His soul will return home on the seventh day of his demise. We call the day 頭七(tou2 qi), the first seventh day. The family will have a ceremony for him that night, which is called 做頭七(zhuo4 tou2 qi)

Before the funeral, the ceremony of做七(zhou4 qi), literally meaning “doing the seven,” will repeat seven times every seven day. To adapt to the busy modern life, the seven ceremonies have often been simplified by putting several together as one within a shorter span. But the first and the last “seven” are the most important.

The ceremony of 做七 basically consists of two parts. The family prepares food for the deceased to enjoy. And 道士(dao4 shi4), one or several Taoist priests are invited to do the chanting, which is believed to be able to help the deceased’s soul go to heaven. If the deceased died in an accident outside, there will be a ceremony of 招魂(zhao hun2)¸ soul calling at the site of the accident, which is done to guide the soul of the dead to return home.

                

 (from ent.qq.com)                      (from1941.cn)

Before the Taoist priest starts to do the chanting, he has to make sure that the deceased has been “present.” So here comes the ritual of Bwa3-bui , where two coins are used to serve as bui . The oldest son of the family is usually asked to do it. He has to call the deceased’s name and ask if he’s present, the way people do when asking the deity at the temple. He throws the coins to the ground. If it’s a head plus a tail, the ceremony goes on. If not, he repeats the asking.

Some people may take this procedure as probability. With my experiences, I really don’t know if you should take this so “scientifically.”

When my dad passed away, for example, I went to one of the “seven” ceremonies, 女兒七(nu3 er2 ji).女兒 means daughter. It is called so because this particular ceremony falls to the daughters’ responsibility. That was why I had to do the Bwa3-bui . I tried several times but couldn’t get a “yes.” Then I remember my kids, who weren’t present because that was a school day. Silently I told my dad in my mind that his grandchildren weren’t there because they had to go to school that day. Then I got a shing bui, a yes, so the ceremony could proceed.

Same thing happened at my grandmom’s “seven.” My mom told me they got stuck when they failed to get a “yes” even though they had tried many times. Then someone among the crowd found out that one of my uncles was missing. After he was summoned and came back, they finally got a shing bui and got to start.

The latest examples would be my mom-in-law’s. To keep my dad-in-law, who was suffering from bad coughing, from the smoke caused by the burning of the incense, we asked him to stay outside. We couldn’t start even though several people took turns doing the Bwa3-bui , her sons, her daughter, her grandson. The problem was solved until the one doing the asking remembered the absent widower and told the deceased about his whereabouts.

Such experiences are abundant and often heard. Believe it or not, it’s a common way for us to communicate with the deceased. You may ask him about his opinions on such things as how to arrange his funeral, where to keep his coffin or ashes. . . , so the ones left behind will feel comfortable and relaxed because the deceased has been arranged as he wishes.

My coworker and good friend Mary, an extremely charming woman, told me that she was once bugged by a man she just met at a temple, who kept asking her out. To get rid of him, she told him she would let the deity to decide. If he could get a shing bui, she would go out with him. She got rid of the man because he just couldn’t get the green light from the deity. I forgot to ask her if she had bribed the deity; otherwise, what made her so sure about the result of this Bwa3-bui?

頭七=头七



P.S. I read on the paper that on April 29 Dalai Lama visited Japan to pray for the dead killed by the 311 Quake. He did this that day because it was the 49th day after the disaster. The news reminded me of the fact that I forgot to mention in my writing that we call the last “seven” 滿七(man3 qi). It is important because people believe that the sousl of the deceased will be wandering between the heaven and the earth for 49 days. After that, they may go on with their journey to heaven or 投胎 (tou2 tai), to their next life.

Bwa3-bui 跋杯 (II) (Custom)

When visiting Taiwan’s temples, you’ll see by the altar a bucket with dozens of bamboo sticks inside it. The bucket is called籤筒(qian tong2) and each of the stick is with a number on it.

 (from sunshine莊信賢影像世界... flickr.com)

One of the hearsays about the origin of this divine system 抽籤(chou qian), lot-drawing, was from a tribal witchcraft in Tung Dynasty. This is another way to consult the deity. Sometimes you may not have a definite yes-no question to ask, but just want to know your luck of the year in general. You may do this.

For example, you’d like to know what it will be like with your career for the coming year, you may do the Bwa3-bui process, i.e. burning the incense, taking the bui, and telling your name. You ask the deity about your luck in your career and tell him if he’s answering your question, please give you a shing bui 聖杯. You throw the pair onto the ground. If you get a “yes,” go on with the process. If no, you can do it again, but altogether three times at most.

You draw out a stick from the bucket after you get a yes from Bwa3-bui. You check out the number on the bamboo stick, then go find the corresponsive 籤詩(qian shi), the lottery poem, from籤詩櫃(qian shi gui4), the closet with all lottery poems in it. 

(from veela-viva flickr.com)

籤詩, lottery poetry, is the deity’s answer to your question, which is put in rhymed lines in classical poetic form on a stripe of thin paper. Lots of the poems seen at earlier times were written by elite scholars or officials. The prevalent sets used in Taiwan consist of poems ranging from 6o to several hundreds. It is said a temple in Xin-zhu County has a set that has the most lottery poems, which is 366.

 (from tw.knowledge.yahoo.com)

Since the poems are written in classical Chinese poetic form, it’s not so easy for the ordinary public to understand exactly what they mean. When they draw a lot and get the lottery poem, they can go to the解籤人(jie3 qian ren2), who will explain the meaning of the lottery poem for them.

(from lavie.somode.com)

A modern way to do this is to put the explanation by the peom, which saves the manpower. And each of the poem has a conclusive phrase such as 上吉(shang4 ji2), top auspicious, 10-point auspicious, 中吉(zhong ji2), medium auspicious, 下吉(xia4 ji2), minor auspicious, and 兇(xong), inauspicious to give you a general idea about the lottery. Today you can even find websites helping you interpret those poems.

It occurred to me just now: is there any relationship between the “fortune cookies” practiced at the Chinese restaurant in the US and the籤詩I’ve mentioned above? Since we don’t have such a custom in our restaurant, is it possible that it was some early Chinese immigrant, who came up with the idea to put this into his restaurant as a gimmick to boost his business?

As I said earlier, Bwa3-bui is not limited to the communication with the deities, but also used with the deceased. I think I’ll leave this until later.  

(TO BE CONTINUED)

籤詩櫃=籤詩柜

Bwa3-bui 跋杯 (I) (Custom)

When proctoring an exam, sometimes I’ll see a hilarious scene like this: instead of racking his brains working out the answers, a student throws a dice-like eraser with different answers A, B, C, D on different side to decide his answers to the questions. Jokingly we call this act Bwa3-bui.

Bwa3-bui is in fact in Hoklo language, or commonly known as Taiwanese, which is a way commonly used in Taiwan to communicate with deities or the deceased. In writing we use the words擲筊(zhi2 jiao). Bui refers to a pair of crescent-shaped, wood or bamboo-made utensil. Each of the pair has two sides, or head and tail. The flat side is the positive, 正面(zheng4 mian4), or 陽, yang; while the smoothly bulging side is the negative, 反面(fan3 mian4), or 陰, yin. On every altar of every temple in Taiwan, you can see the pair. Usually they are of palm size. Custom-made size could be seen for special purposes.

  (from Jerry_Taiwan flickr.com)

As I said, Bwa3-bui is a way to communicate with the deities. When facing a dilemma or a difficult choice to make, sometimes people would turn to the deity for help. They go to the temple and worship the specific deity they’d like to ask. After burning the incense and doing the worshiping, 拜拜(bai4 bai4), the one with a question to ask would pick up筊, the wooden pair, and hold them in his palms in front of his chest, with the flat sides sticking to each other.

 (from xianqiao.net)

Before asking the question, he has to tell the deity his name, address, birthday and the question he’s asking before he throws the pairs down to the ground. To show their reverence, very often people conduct this on their knees. For the same question, you can only ask three times at most. And the question has to be put in the Yes-no question form, like “Should I change my job now?”

(from bryan@22°N 120°E flickr.com)

The way the wooden pairs display on the ground reveals the deity’s answer to the question. If it’s one positive plus one negative side, it means the god says yes, or give the green light to what you have asked. We call this shing bui in Taiwanese, written as聖杯 or 聖筊.(But we usually say it in Taiwanese.) To be cautious, if your question is of vital importance, you might ask for three shing bui in a row.

If it’s the two positive, or flat sides upside, it’s called chiu4 bui , written as笑杯or 笑筊,which means the deity hasn’t decided how to answer the question. You can repeat your question and do it all over again.

The last possibility is two negative, or bulking sides upside, which is called Yin bui, written as 陰杯 or 怒筊 It’s a “no” sign from god.

Actually the above are not the only possibilities. There are times, though  rarely, when the pair shows an extraordinary way, kia3 bui , written as 立杯 or 立筊, which means a “standing” bui. The bui stands on the sharp edge.

(from aa4355838flicker.com)

 (from Yam News)

It is generally believed such a rare pattern means the deity has some extraordinary instruction or message to give. It’s a “miracle” from god. The photo above is from a report in 2009 that the kia3 bui had been standing for some 250 days, remaining intact after earthquakes and typhoons hit. Some reports attribute the phenomenon to the rough or cracked surface of the obsolete bui, or the subtle cracks on the ground.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

 

擲筊=掷筊

陽=阳

陰=阴

聖杯=圣杯

滴水之恩，湧泉以報 (Chop Suey)

Some Japanese people are raising money 募款(mu4 kuan3) for putting an ad on Taiwan’s media to express their gratitude for our donation in the wake of the March 11 earthquake, which amounts to more than NT 4 billion dollars (U.S. $ 137.9 million dollars approximately) and ranks the top among the donating nations. Ninety percent of the money comes from private donors. For a nation of a 23- million population, you have to say that Taiwanese are really generous. 慷慨(kang kai3)

However, when putting a thank-you note 感謝函(gan3 xie4 han2)on the media worldwide, Japan’s government has missed Taiwan. Such an unusual act was questioned and slammed by their own media, accusing their government of yielding to the pressure from Beijing. That’s why some Japanese decided to raise money on their own to run an ad on Taiwan’s media to express their gratitude.

To be honest, though knowing very well Taiwanese’ readiness to help others, I’m still surprised to learn that we have given away so much money and so much relief goods. As residents of an unstable land with the vagaries of natural disasters such as earthquakes and typhoons, we know what it is like after a nature’s temper tantrum.

Another important reason for the generosity of Taiwanese, I think, is to return the favor the Japanese people gave us when the 921 Quake hit Taiwan in 1999. I read from the paper that Japanese relief team was the first to arrive in Taiwan to help.

That leads to my title today滴水之恩(di shui3 zhi en)，湧泉以報(yong3 chuan2 yi3 bao4), which can also be extended to受滴水之恩(shou4)，必湧泉以報(bi4). 受means to receive. 滴水is a drop of water.之, of; 恩, favor. The former part of the saying means “When I receive a favor of a drop of water.” 必means will; 湧泉, gush a spring; 以, to; 報, return. So the whole saying means “When I receive a favor of a drop of water, I will pour a spring in return.”

Some three decades ago a Taiwanese novelist wrote a novel, where she displayed lots of Taiwan’s traditional customs and the notions behind them. One custom she mentioned about was when new parents distributed 油飯(you2 fan4), the glutinous oil rice, to mark the celebration for their newborn to reach its first month, the neighbors who got the rice would give a cup of rice on a plate in return.

Such a spirit is also manifested in the current customs. For example, in a wedding or a funeral, people will send a red envelop紅包(hong2 bao), or a white envelop, 白包(bai2 bao) to show their congratulations or condolences. The receivers of the money will keep a record of each giver’s amount as a basis, so that next time when same thing happens to any of the givers, they know how much to give. We will give the same amount or very often, add a little to it as a return.

The notion behind the custom is that it takes some money to have a wedding or a funeral. The guests give money as a help for the family to get it done. The couple can return the favor to the respective guests later little by little. Such a give-and-take in courtesy is called 禮尚往來(li3 shang4 wang3 lai2). The extra return shows the spirit of湧泉以報

For an ungrateful person who even bites the hand that feeds him, we’ll call him 忘恩負義(wang4 en fu4 yi4). I think for those Japanese who’re raising money to put the ad, they just don’t want to be labeled as one. As one of the donors, I don’t think it would make much difference whether the government of Japan had or had not run an ad to thank us. I guess most of the Taiwanese donors would think likewise. It’s just too complicated when it comes to politics. Who knows, and who cares what’s on those politicians’ mind?

感謝函=感谢函

湧泉以報=涌泉以报

油飯=油饭

紅包=红包

禮尚往來=礼尚往来

忘恩負義=忘恩负义

p.s. Three days after I posted the article, I read on the United Daily that according to Kissaka, the Japanese girl who initiated the fund-raising on Twitter, she has got about 6.8 million Yuan, or NT $ 2.39 million in less than a week. And Taiwan has donated more than NT five billion to Japan.

I've been extrememly busy these days. Hope I can make time to start my next writing soon.

不讓你睡! (Euphemism)

After I finished my previous writing about some euphemisms for having sex, I remembered a slogan of a commercial for an energy drink, 不讓你睡(bu2 rang4 ni3 shui4), which literally means not letting you fall asleep, highlighting the effect of the energy drink. Seeing the big-boob girl saying the slogan in a sweet and suggestive voice in the commercial, plus a little understanding of Mandarin, you’ll know what you should read between the lines.

Like English, we use 睡覺(shui4 jiao4), to sleep with, as an euphemism of having sex. Accordingly the line不讓你睡 could mean “I won’t let you to sleep (with me).” Sometimes when I was trying to wake up a dozing student, the other students would say the line 不讓你睡 in a bantering tone. You see how the drink works for their energy.

Another quite updated euphemism is 四腳獸(si4 jiao3 shou4), four-foot monster, which pictures the scene when two people are together( which is also an euphemism在一起zai4 yi4 qi3) For example, you may see a headline on the paper like 公廁驚見四腳獸(gong ce4 jing jian4 si4 jiao3 shou4) meaning people getting startled by a couple having sex in the public toilet. They are not really monsters but together they got four feet.

Last month two students from University of Southern California were spotted having sex on the top of a building. We saw the headline as 校園驚見活春宮(xiao4 yuan2 jing jian4 huo2 chun gong), the live sex show startled the campus. 活 means live, real person, 春宮 is another euphemism for sex.

It is said that there used to be some portraits of beautiful women or pornographic paintings at the emperor’s palace for the emperor to appreciate. But some eunuchs spread out those paintings, which were later called 春宮圖(chun gong tu2). 春宮 means “spring palace” while圖is the painting.

So you know in Mandarin, the season spring 春 is related to sex or porn. You can say a brothel is 春色無邊(chun se4 wu2 bian). 春色is spring’s scenery, and無邊means borderless, abundant. But色, as scenery in 景色(jing3 se4), also means porn as in 色情(se4 qing2). Together with spring, the euphemism is quite obvious actually. For the shrieking of the cat before mating, it’s 叫春(jiao4 chun), which also refers to a woman’s panting and screaming while making love.

There are so many euphemisms in our life for sex as well as many other things. And I’d like to wrap up this writing with an old but refined one—燕好(yan4 hao3). 燕means the swallow. Why the swallow? It beats me too!

不讓你睡=不让你睡

睡覺=睡觉

四腳獸=四脚兽

公廁驚見四腳獸=公厕惊见四脚兽

校園=校园

春宮圖=春宫图

春色無邊=春色无边

Chaufa & 房事 (Euphemism)

Taiwan’s government is imposing the “luxurious tax” 奢侈稅(she chi3 shui4) to curb the soaring house price. When talking about anything related to the house, the newspapers sometimes put out a headline using the term 「房事」(fang2 shi4), a house issue, literally referring to anything that’s related to the house. But it is also used as a euphemism for sex. When a couple have trouble in sex, we may say房事不和(fang2 shi4 bu4 he2) to describe the situation. That’s why the press use it as a pun.

In my previous writing “Chaufa & chop suey,” I told you about chaufa being used in Taiwan as a modern euphemism for having sex. Another modern one is 嘿咻(he xiu), which is an onomatopoeia used to mimic the sound you make when you’re doing strenuous work, such as rowing a boat or moving something very heavy. It’s also used to boost the morale of a group in laborious work. Somehow the meaning has changed.

Back to ancient times, we had a decorous and refined euphemism--敦倫(dun luan2) (Attention, it’s not 倫敦(luan2 dun), London.) A similar one is 周公之禮 (zhou gong zhi li3). 周公, Duke of Chou, was the one that established Rites of Zhou. The phrase refers to having sex as an ethical rite, 禮. It’s what keeps humans passing along their flesh and blood.

Another euphemism for sex is 苟且之事(guo3 qie3 zhi shi4). 苟且 usually means to drift along, to be resigned to circumstances. When someone lives without any goal or ambition and only drags out an ignoble existence, we can say he’s苟且偷生(gou3 qie3 tou sheng). But here 苟且 means to have sex.

In Taiwan, for relationship that only involves sex, we’ll call partner in this kind of relationship 炮友(pao4 you2). 友is a friend. 炮refers to a bomb as in 炮彈(pao4 dan4), or firecrackers as in 鞭炮(bian pao4). Since 打炮(da3 pao4) is another euphemism for sex, 炮友then naturally would be a friend with benefits.

To make it more directly, you say 性交(xing4 jiao), sexual intercourse, or 交媾(jiao gou4)，交合(jiao he2). For animal’s mating, it’s 交配(jiao pei4). Today we translate from English phrase “make love” into 做愛(zuo4 ai4). From this, we got another euphemism 做愛做的事(zou4 ai4 zou4 de shi4), which means to do what you love to do. It’s a word game like what I’ve mentioned in Idiotic Syntax. You prolong the phrase into something seemingly different.

Well, I’d better stop here and do what I love to do, which is-- reading.

敦倫=敦伦

周公之禮=周公之礼

炮彈=炮弹

做愛=做爱