小三 & 劈腿 (Law)

When seeing on an advertisement board on the street of Taiwan 「捉猴」(zhuo hou2), literally meaning to “catch the monkey,” have you asked yourself “what the heck is it?” Do they provide a monkey-capture service?

小三(xiao3 san), “small three” topic has been a huge hit here in Taiwan these days. Sensational plots about “small three” are being played in a hot TV soap opera; discussions on the same topic are blatantly going on in various TV talk shows. You check all over the dictionary trying to figure out what the term小三means, but in vain, because it has just been coined not for a long while.

I’ve never watched the soap opera mentioned above, which triggered the小三fever. But I know the term refers to the woman that is having an affair with a married man. Since we often call a mistress or a concubine小老婆(xiao3 lao3 po2), a small wife, which accounts for the word 小. And she is the third party in the marriage, which accounts for三, three.

We used to call the extra-marital affair 婚外情(hun wai4 qing2), or外遇 (wai4 yu4), you “meet” someone outside. But these days more often we’ll use the term劈腿(pi tui3), literally meaning splitting the legs, a dancing or kung-fu motion. I think it might has something to do with what we call 腳踏兩條船(jiao3 ta4 liang3 tiao2 chuan2), when you set each of your feet on two different boats. Namely, you’re involving yourself in two different situations, be it a job or a relationship. However, 劈腿 could be cheating on your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend, while外遇 is only for a spouse.

The mistress would be 情婦(qing2 fu4); for a married woman’s lover it would be 情夫(qing2 fu). The wife would be 元配(yuan2 pei4), or 大老婆(da4 lao3 po2) to be contrary to 小老婆. In Taiwan the film “The First Wives Club” was translated as 大老婆俱樂部(da4 lao3 po2 ju4 le4 bu4)

When the 大老婆 is suspicious that her husband might be having an affair, she might go to a private eye for help. She needs to catch the couple red-handed, i.e. in bed. We call this 捉姦(zhuo jian). 捉means to catch, and I’ve introduce the word姦 , adultery, in our riddle for the Lantern Festival. So, here comes the key to the question I raised in the beginning, 捉猴 is actually pronounced in Taiwanese as lia3 gao2, meaning捉姦.

When this is done and the wife might want a separation分居(fen ju) , or even a divorce 離婚(li2 hun). She could need a lawyer律師(lu4 shi) and asks for alimony 贍養費(shan4 yang3 fei4). But things might not go so smoothly as custody for children監護權(jian hu4 quan2) is often fought over.

There’s a wide-spread saying that goes as 妻不如妾，妾不如偷(qi bu4 ru2 qie4, qie4 bu4 ru2 tou), a wife is lesser than a concubine; a concubine is lesser than an adultery. It perhaps expounds part of the reasons why we have so many 小三and why it has been so hot an issue these days. I remember how Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn and Bette Miller singing and dancing on the street in “The First Wives Club” after they kicked their husbands’ asses. For those 大老婆who have been劈腿 by their husbands, it might be a big comfort to see such a scene!

腳踏兩條船=脚踏两条船

情婦=情妇

大老婆俱樂部=大老婆俱乐部

離婚=离婚

律師=律师

贍養費=赡养费

監護權=监护权