羊入虎口 (Animal)

One of my friends is getting married. And we can’t help kidding about her “falling a victim to a tiger” because she was born in the year of the goat, and her husband, a tiger, which makes it a so-called羊入虎口(yang2 ru4 hu3 kao3), a little goat/lamb is sent to feed the tiger.

As I told you, every Chinese has a 生肖(sheng xiao4), one of the twelve animals chosen to represent a year. Somehow each Chinese is an animal. Among the twelve, 龍(long2), the dragon, is no doubt the favorite one, since it’s a symbol for the emperor. People loved to have 龍子(long2 zi3) a dragon son, or 龍女(long2 nu3), a dragon daughter. And for those “tiger moms” or dads, the reason for them to be so strict is that they want their children to be superior to others when they grow up. We call this 望子成龍 (wang4 zi3 cheng2 long2), literally meaning expecting your son to be a “dragon.”

But in traditional Taiwanese customs, tiger 虎(hu3) was considered an inauspicious animal for celebrations such as a wedding. Those who were born in the year of the tiger would avoid such occasions. And we use the term 母老虎(mu3 lao3 hu3) or 雌老虎(ci2 lao3 hu3)to call those tough, hot-tempered women.

My second son was born in the year of dog, which makes him even more of a 犬子(qian3 zi3) , a dog son, for 犬(qian) is a classical name for a dog. And in the past when people mentioned their son to others, they would show their humbleness by calling him犬子.

Besides 羊入虎口, when there are a chicken and a dog in a family, we’ll jokingly call it 雞犬不寧(ji qian3 bu4 ning2), an idiom to describe a turbulent and messy situation, where even the household chicken and the dog is in a turmoil. A chicken and a rabbit would make it 雞兔同籠(ji tu4 tong2 long2), a math question of algebra we learned a lot in elementary school.

What about a dragon and a snake? It’s a 龍蛇雜處(long2 she2 za2 chu3), meaning all kinds of people, very often referring to those 不三不四* (bu4 cao bu2 ci4) people, getting together. A tiger’s head plus a snake’s tail would be 虎頭蛇尾(hu3 tou2 she2 wei3), to start off with a bang but end up with a whimper. And a dragon with a tiger would be 龍爭虎鬥(long2 zheng hu3 dou4), describing the harsh competition between two strong opponents; and an active person with a vivid and high spirit would be 生龍活虎(sheng long2 huo3 hu4), a combination of the dragon and the tiger.

Last November, before the night of the voting for the Five-City election, a shooting case shocked Taiwan, where Sean Lien 連勝文(lian2 sheng4 wen2)was shot in public by a man nicknamed 馬面(ma3 mian4), meaning a long-faced like a horse. For those people with vicious looking and mean manners, we’ll use the phrase 牛頭馬面(niu2 tou2 ma3 mian4), a bull’s head and a horse’s face to describe them.

I certainly will go back and talk about more animal phrases because I really don’t like to act虎頭蛇尾!

* Please read my previous writing “Stop talking the five four three” for the meaning of the term不三不四

龍=龙

雞犬不寧=鸡犬不宁

雞兔同籠=鸡兔同笼

龍蛇雜處=龙蛇杂处

虎頭蛇尾=虎头蛇尾

龍爭虎鬥=龙争虎斗

爭, 鬥: fight

連勝文=连胜文

牛頭馬面=牛头马面

Green Hornet, 雙節/截棍 & the weapons (Kungfu)

I heard on the radio the lately released film Green Hornet has been a huge success in the northern American box office. In the film Jay Chou 周杰倫(chou jie2 lun2) plays what was played by Bruce Lee 李小龍(Lee3 xiao3 long2) and uses what was used by Bruce as weapon,雙節棍(shuang jie2 gun4)( or雙截棍 as some people use.)

According to Wikipedia, 雙節棍, the nunchucks, is a traditional Okinawan weapon consisting of two sticks connected at their ends with a short chain or rope. It is said that they were made in Song Dynasty (960-1279) and were used a lot in Bruce Lee’s films. The other night when the radio was playing Jay Chou’s song “the nunchucks” on my way home, I started to remember those versatile weapons I’ve read in the Kungfu, or 武俠(wu3 xia2) novels.

Generally we use 十八般武器(shi2 ba ban wu3 qi4), eighteen weapons, to catalog the traditional Chinese weapons, each with various kinds under it. Some people divide them into two kinds as long and short weapons. Others do in a more detailed way by dividing them into shooting, long, short, soft, secret weapons, . . . I’m no expert at this. But my point here is to teach you some useful words and phrases, as well as to share some interesting stuff in Kungfu novels.

刀(dao), the knife, is used as a weapon as well as a tool in the kitchen, 菜刀(ce4 dao). The best-known刀 for the Chinese people, I think, would be 關刀(guan dao), which belongs to 關公(guan gong) or 關羽(guan yu3), a prestigious military figure in Eastern Han Dynasty 東漢(dong han4) If you try to show off your skill at playing golf in Tiger Woods’ face, we’ll use a歇後語Xie hou4 yu4, 關公面前耍大刀—自不量力(guan gong mian4 qian2 shua3 da4 dao—zi4 bu2 liang4 li4), which means you do not know your own limitations and show off your skills at playing knife in guan gong’s face.

Another often used weapon is 劍(jian4), the sword. With sharp blades on both sides, it could be used to sweep across or pierce directly through the object. And about斧(fu3), ax, we have a similar idiom as關公面前耍大刀: 班門弄斧(ban men2 nong4 fu3), here 班 means 魯班(lu3 ban), a famous craftsman.

I think the coolest weapon is those soft ones. It’s nothing unusual to kill or cut with hard weapons made of metals. But what about the soft ones, such as a piece of silk cloth or animal’s hair used to wipe dust? In wu-xia novels, when you see a beautiful girl with a shining silk scarf, or a nun with a duster in her hand, don’t take them just as adornments. As to the pretty chick or slim nun, they could be kungfu masters with advanced 氣功(qi4 gong), which makes the non-weapons killing.

There is a saying 明槍易躲，暗箭難防(ming2 qiang yi4 duo3, an4 jian4 nian2 fang2) It’s easy to dodge 明槍, an obvious gun, but it’s hard to avoid 暗箭, the secret arrow from behind. I think 暗器(an4 qi4), the secret weapon, is also another interesting catalog to talk about. But I guess I’ll just leave it until later. Take care, my dear friends-- for you might get one from behind when you’re not alert!

雙節/截棍=双节/截棍

李小龍=李小龙

武俠=武侠

東漢=东汉

關公=关公

劍=剑

班門弄斧=班门弄斧

魯班=鲁班

氣功=气功

明槍易躲，暗箭難防=明枪易躲，暗箭难防

天下紅雨 (Color)

Yesterday when I said " See me on Time," you might say, "Fat chance!" Or sometimes you say "once in a blue moon" to describe something that's very unlikely to happen. In Chinese we use 天下紅雨(tian xia4 hong2 yu3) , it drops red rain , or 太陽打西邊出來(tai4 yang2 da3 xi bian chu lai2), the sun rises from the west, to express the similar. When I joked about writing that "snake teacher" book,  you might think, "oh, you're just jealous! " Funny you say "green with envy" while we say "red-eyed" 眼紅(yan3 hong2)  But don't confuse it with 哭紅了眼(ku hong2 l yan3),the eyes turn red from weeping, or 殺紅了眼(sha hong2 l yang3),a phrase used to describe how a crazy killer has gone nuts and can’t stop killing.

Red is an auspicious color for Chinese. It’s the color for celebrations such as the wedding and the festival season of the Chinese New Year. People not only wear in red but also give 紅包(hong2 bao), a red envelop with money inside. Instead of gifts, we give cash to the newly wed or the new parents to congratulate them, which saves the trouble of getting gifts as well as exchange them. But紅包 also refers to bribery. In giving bribery, you 送紅包(song4 hong2 bao while 收紅包(shou hong2 bao) means receiving bribery.

In English, you’re black with rage; In Chinese, you 臉色鐵青(lian2 se4 tie3 qing) or sometimes we say, 臉都綠了(lian2 dou lu4 l), your face turn green. 青(qing) could mean both green or blue. In 青草地(qing cao3 di4), it’s green grass land while 青天(quing tian) means the blue sky. You beat someone black and blue. And in Chinese it’s 鼻青臉腫(bi2 quing lian3 zhong3), blue-nosed and swollen-faced.

Every time when I ask my students what a “blue movie” is, they will say it’s a sad movie. This is not an uncommon misunderstanding. Strange to say, in Chinese we use the color yellow 黃(huang2), to refer to porn. A blue movie is 黃色電影(huang2 se4 dian4 ying3)A dirty joke is 黃色笑話(huang se4 xiao4 hua4) A man who’s always telling those jokes could be called 黃帝(huagn2 di4), which sounds exactly the same as an emperor. 皇帝, whose robes happened to be yellow.

When it comes to colors, if someone says你很色(ni3 hen3 se4), it has nothing to do with any color 顏色(yan2 se4) but “yellow,” which means you’re obscene.

天下紅雨=天下红雨

太陽打西邊出來=太阳打西边出来

眼紅=眼红

哭紅了眼=哭红了眼

殺紅了眼=杀红了眼

臉色鐵青=脸色铁青

臉都綠了=脸都绿了

鼻青臉腫=鼻青脸肿

黃色電影=黄色电影

黃色笑話=黄色笑话

China’s moon, the tiger moms & 揠苗助長 (Proverb)

In English we have a proverb, “The grass on the other side of the fence is greener.” As I was growing up, I kept hearing the proverb, 外國的月亮比較圓(wai4 guo2 de yue4 liang4 bi3 jiao4 yan2), literally meaning “The moon in a foreign country is rounder,” sometimes as a sarcasm to the prevailing notion that how a foreign country, mostly referring to the U. S., beats us in many ways.

However, as what we say, 風水輪流轉(feng shui3 lun3 liu2 zhuan3),  the table has been turned. Things seem to have changed. These days I notice that some Americans have started to turn their heads towards the East to watch the China’s moon.

For example, last December when a football game in Philadelphia was canceled due to a predicted snowy storm, the governor of Pennsylvania blasted his people for being “weak” by saying if the game were held in China, people wouldn’t back out. They would go to the game as planned, and would do some calculus on the way to it. To him, China’s moon seems to be rounder.

It is reported that President Obama mentioned in his State of the Union about China four times. He talked about China’s recent research and development in the fastest train, the fastest computer, . . . etc. As president of a country that has been a super power, Obama has expressed  a seemingly prevailing concern and anxiety for falling behind another potential super power.

More or less the sensation caused by the book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother reflects such concern, I think. It’s like twenty years in Taiwan, when many people lashed out at Taiwan’s school education for putting too much pressure upon students by taking examples from America’s system: how school there ended somewhere around 3 p.m.; instead of endless tests and exams, how students enjoyed various extra-curricular activities. . . . 外國的月亮比較圓

I heard Amy Chua, the author of this “tiger mother” book, was put on the cover of the latest Time magazine. And there’s been a lot of talks on the trend of the Chinese parents sending their babies to those “early educational classes,” dance for one-year-old, economic for three, and potential class for three-month-old. . . .Wow, how can American parents sleep when they hear about this? (Same question for those who despise the “tiger mother.”)

I think people tend to go extremes or lose perspective with this “foreign moon complex.” You tend to take exceptional as general. Yes, traditionally Chinese parents might be “stricter” than most American parents. But I don’t know how many Chinese parent will call their children “garbage” when the kids fail to meet their expectations. (Forgive me for possibly using the wrong quotation because I haven’t read the book.) Chua’s daughters could have ended up a drug addict with a traumatic heart, which I think would be very likely if I were her daughter. If so, will she be where she is now?

And for those dance class for one-year-old and economic class for three, I have a very good idiom to teach you. (though the classes could be exaggerated)—揠苗助長(ya4 miao2 zhu4 zhang3)

Like the idiom 一暴十寒(yi2 pu4 shi2 han2) I told you before, it comes from a story told by 孟子(meng4 zi3) There was a farmer, who was haunted by the worry that his rice shoots wouldn’t grow up fast. One day he decided to “help” his shoots by pulling them up. The next day his son went to the farm, only to find that all the rice shoots had died out.

What am I wasting my time here for? Why don’t I take advantage of this trend and write a book with the title, Battle Hymn of the Snake Teacher? (As I told you before, I was born in the year of snake.) In it I’ll describe how I had started teaching at 7 a.m., which is true when I first graduated from college, how I had whipped my students for their poor grades, which was practiced by some teachers, but not me, and how I had practically lived with my students, reading their diary and talking to them every day, which was still, done by my coworkers. And I’ll be on the cover page of Time!

Hurray!! Guys and gals, see you on Time! (No, see me on Time!)

外國的月亮比較圓=外国的月亮比较圆 (Simplified)
外國: foreign
月亮: the moon
比較圓: rounder

風水輪流轉=风水轮流转

揠苗助長=揠苗助长

揠: pull up

苗: shoot

助: help as in 幫助

長: grow

Idiotic Syntax (Hilarious errors)

Unlike alphabetic languages, Chinese is made up of blocks of characters. Somehow it’s like piling up blocks when you’re making sentences in Chinese. If you know the various word games passed along from our ancestors, you’ll know what I mean.

I don’t know since when, but here in Taiwan some people started a game of words to distort a phrase or sentence to make it hilarious by adding some words inside the term or separate a phrase deliberately into two sentences. We call this 白癡造句法(bai2 chi zao4 ju4 fa3), idiotic syntax.


For example, the phrase 可愛(ke3 ai4) means cute, adorable. But now when someone uses the phrase to describe you, he might add with a mocking smile that he means可憐沒人愛(ke3 lian2 mei2 ren2 ai4), “ miserable for being loved by no one.” The term 賢慧(xian2 hui4) originally refers to those virtuous and intelligent women. But if someone gives me it as a “compliment,” I’ll know he means閒閒(賢)的什麼都不會(慧)(xian2 xian2 de she me dou bu2 hui4), idling around, incapable of anything. 偶像(ou3 xiang4), an idol, becomes 嘔(偶)吐的對象(像)(ou3 tu4 de dui4 xiang4), the object to which you puke.

For a while people across Taiwan were busy making sentences, a common exercise done in the Chinese class. For example, 難過(nan2 guo4),sad, is twisted into “difficult to cross” as in這條馬路上的車子很多，所以很難過 (There are so many vehicles on the road that it’s difficult to cross it.) 月經(yue4 jing), period, menses：小陳這個月經常遲到 Chen has been often late this month. The term is separated into two parts as in 這個月(zhe4 ge yue4), this month, and 經常(jing chang2), often. Thus the whole sentence becomes ridiculously hilarious.

Another two examples:

便當(bian4 dang), meal box: 不要把大便當飯吃。Don’t take shit as rice and eat it. (!!!)

能幹(nen2 gan4) ,capable:政府很無能,幹! The government is so incapable. Fxxx!

Well, I’d better stop here because I’m worried that you might be like my students, who always remember those errors you especially remind them not to make. To make up all the wrong impressions I’ve made, I’m giving you some “correct” sentences.

難過: 她上個月和男友分手，心裡很難過。

      She broke up with her boyfriend last month and was upset.

便當: 媽媽今天沒做晚餐，我們只好去買便當。

      We had to get meal boxes from the diner since      Mom didn’t make dinner today.       

能幹: 她是個能幹的職業婦女。

      She’s a capable career woman.

白癡造句法=白痴造句法 (Simplified)

可愛=可爱

可憐沒人愛=可怜没人爱

   賢慧=贤慧

閒閒的什麼都不會=闲闲的什么都不会

難過=难过

月經=月经

便當=便当

能幹=能干

高調行善 vs 不食嗟來食 (chop suey)

It is reported that China’s richest man 陳光標(chen2 guang biao) is coming to Taiwan tonight with five hundred million NT dollars to donate to the disadvantaged families. He was welcome by some local governments while rejected by others.

The reason for his being rejected is the unconventional way he’s donating the money. Instead of giving the money to charity funds as it is usually done, he wanted to give away the money in person. Imagine the scene. In front of a “money wall” that is built up with bundles of bill, people stand in line to get the 紅包(hong2 bao), a red envelope with money inside as is given during Chinese New Year or a wedding, and they’re required to bow to Mr. Chen. This unusual procedure makes some people uncomfortable. They feel it is humiliating and somehow hurts the feelings of those who are to accept the money.

That’s why Chen’s been criticized by some people for his so-called 高調行善(gao diao4 xing2 shan4). 高調 means high-profile. 行善 means to devote to charity. Traditionally those who give away money anonymously were respected more. This explains why you see a lot of 無名氏(wu2 ming2 shi4), anonymous, on the list of a charity. We have a phrase for this—為善不欲人知(wei2 shan4 bu2 yu4 ren2 zhi) You do something good without the intention of being known.

High-profile or not, it’s still money for those needy. People do all kind of things for the same cause-- fame. Perhaps it’s too harsh to ask those rich people who are willing to give away their fortune to keep a low profile. Not everyone can be as what Confucius 孔子(kong3 zi3)called 富而不驕(fu4 er2 bu4 jiao), to be rich but not arrogant. And if you ask rich people to keep quiet about their fortune, it's like to ask them to put on their most luxious outfit but walk at night, when people won't see them clearly, which is what 錦衣夜行(jin3 yi ye4 xing2) means.

To those who find the procedure of Chen's donation unbearable, we have a well-known allusion. In 禮記(li3 ji4), Book of Rites, one of the Chinese Five Classics of the Confucian canon describing the social forms, governmental system, and ancient/ceremonial rites of the Zhou Dynasty (c. 1050–256 BC), there was a famine one year in the country named 齊(qi2). 黔敖(qian2 ao2) was giving away food on the street. Seeing a hungry man around, his clothes rugged and face covered by sleeves, 黔敖, with food on his left hand and water on his right, shouted: “Hey, you, come to eat!” 「嗟！來食！」(jie, lai2 shi2)

The hungry man replied, “I’m where I am just because I don’t want to eat what is given by rude people like you!” He refused to eat even after黔敖had apologized to him. He ended up starving to death.

To those who won’t accept donation from people with condescending attitude, they can say 不食嗟來食(bu4 shi2 jie lai2 shi2) as the hungry man in the story.

 I’m not giving comments on anybody here. I just think I have a good story to tell and you have some good phrases to learn. Hope the world will be better with less conflicts and hatred if we know each other better.

陳光標=陈光标 (Simplified)

高調行善=高调行善

無名氏=无名氏

為善不欲人知=为善不欲人知

欲: intend

富而不驕=富而不骄

富: rich

驕: arrogant, condescending

禮記=礼记

齊=齐

不食嗟來食=不食嗟来食

食: eat as a verb

   food as a noun

P.S. When Chen arrived at the airport, he was faced with banners of both welcome and protest. He told the press that all the donation would be arranged and issued by the local governments. That is, the way he did it in China isn't gonna happen in Taiwan.