What I won’t say in class (Homophone)

Surrounded by those horny teenagers, I have to be very cautious with what I say in class. As I told you, there’re so many homophones in Chinese and you don’t want to make yourself a pervert by using some of them without caution.

For example, when speaking of self-defense, instead of自衛 ( z4 wei4), I’ll say 自我防衛, because the former sounds exactly the same with自慰 ( z4 wei4), meaning masturbating. Another one is 受驚 (sh4 jing), getting startled, which is a homophone of受精 (sh4 jing), impregnation as well as授精 (sh4 jing), insemination. I might use受到驚嚇 instead.

In China, when asking people about their occupation, they might say, “您幹哪一行?” (What do you do?) They use 幹活 (gan4 huo2) as we use 工作 (gong zuo4), to work. 幹的好 (gan2 d hao3) means “good job.” But in class I will try to avoid the word 幹, because it means “fuck” in Taiwanese. You’ll have a classroom full of roars of laughter and turmoil if you keep using these terms.

As a result, I’ll never use the term能幹 (neng2 gan4) to compliment a capable student. If you know what能means, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

自衛 ( z4 wei4): self-defense 

自卫 (Simplified)

自慰 ( z4 wei4): masturbate

受驚 (sh4 jing): startled

受惊 (Simplified)

受精 (sh4 jing): impregnation

授精 (sh4 jing): insemination.

幹活 (gan4 huo2): work

干活 (Simplified)

幹的好 (gan2 d hao3): good job

干的好 (Simplified)

能幹 (neng2 gan4): capable

能干 (Simplified)

能 (neng2): able; capable