The “Tiger Mothers” in the Chinese history (chop suey)

I read on the paper about how the book “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” by Amy Chua had ignited heated discussions. Being a Taiwanese mother, who definitely cannot be cut off from the Chinese culture, I won’t call myself a “tiger mother.”  

I have to say it’s really hard to practice the “no-sleepover,” “no-school play,” “no-TV,” “no-computer game” “no-grade-less-than-A” policies, at least for me. I mean how much time and energy you have to invest to reinforce those policies?

My point here is not to comment on this book, which I’ve never read. It’s just that the report reminds me of some noted “tiger mothers” ( not so “tiger-like” actually) in the Chinese history.

The most famous mother, I think, would be 孟母(meng4 mu3), mother of the great philosopher 孟子(meng4 z3), who I have mentioned in the article of the Chinese idiom 一暴十寒. She became a widow when孟子 was three and she raised up孟子 on her own.

At first they lived near a cemetery. As a result, the little孟子 always mimicked the way people wailed and moaned in a funeral while playing with his playmates. 孟母 was unhappy about this, so she decided to move.

Their new place was in a bustling market. Surrounded by the butchers and merchants, naturally the young 孟子 started his game of trade, which concerned his mother again since merchants were of low status back then. She moved again, to a place across from a school. Finally the little 孟子 was diverted the way his mother wanted.

One day 孟子 skipped school and went home.  Seeing this, 孟母 grabbed a pair of scissors and cut off the piece of cloth she was weaving on the loom. She told her son if he couldn’t concentrate on his studies and worked with this attitude of一暴十寒, his studies would be like the piece of cloth ending up as useless junk.

This is the story of孟母三遷*(meng4 mu3 san qian), Meng mu’s three moves, which has passed along for thousands of years in Chinese history. I admire her for her wisdom to realize how influential the environment is to a child. And also the way she reacted to her son’s misbehavior. She had the wit and determination to show her son the mistake he had made in the cost of her labor instead of nagging or constant preaching.

Another famous mom is 岳母*(yu4 mu3)，Mother of 岳飛(yu4 fei)，a patriotic and loyal general of 宋Song Dynasty (960-1127). The widowed mom tattooed with her needle on her son’s back four words, 精忠報國* (jiang zhong bao4 guo2), meaning loyalty and patriotism. We call the story 岳母刺字(yu4 mu3 c4 z4)

The last mom I’d like to introduce today is 歐陽修* (ou yang2 xiu)’s mom, who, without exceptions, was a widow. She taught her son to read and write by writing the characters on the ground with the stems of the reeds, for they were too poor to afford paper and pens. Later he became a great figure of Chinese literature.

These are the mothers that have been passed along and remembered by the Chinese people. Being a mother of not so much “tigerly,” I’m so glad that in one of our ancient classics 三字經 (san z4 jing), it has been pointed out that it’s the father to blame if a kid is not well brought up. “養不教，父之過*” (yang4 bu2 jiao4, fu4 zh guo4) Every time when my husband grumbles about how mischievous one of his kids had been, so I say to him.

Note:

the term岳母(yu4 mu3) could also refer to a mother-in-law.

孟母三迁 (simplified)

精忠报国 (simplified)

欧阳修(simplified)

养不教，父之过(simplified)