Idiotic Syntax (Hilarious errors)

Unlike alphabetic languages, Chinese is made up of blocks of characters. Somehow it’s like piling up blocks when you’re making sentences in Chinese. If you know the various word games passed along from our ancestors, you’ll know what I mean.

I don’t know since when, but here in Taiwan some people started a game of words to distort a phrase or sentence to make it hilarious by adding some words inside the term or separate a phrase deliberately into two sentences. We call this 白癡造句法(bai2 chi zao4 ju4 fa3), idiotic syntax.


For example, the phrase 可愛(ke3 ai4) means cute, adorable. But now when someone uses the phrase to describe you, he might add with a mocking smile that he means可憐沒人愛(ke3 lian2 mei2 ren2 ai4), “ miserable for being loved by no one.” The term 賢慧(xian2 hui4) originally refers to those virtuous and intelligent women. But if someone gives me it as a “compliment,” I’ll know he means閒閒(賢)的什麼都不會(慧)(xian2 xian2 de she me dou bu2 hui4), idling around, incapable of anything. 偶像(ou3 xiang4), an idol, becomes 嘔(偶)吐的對象(像)(ou3 tu4 de dui4 xiang4), the object to which you puke.

For a while people across Taiwan were busy making sentences, a common exercise done in the Chinese class. For example, 難過(nan2 guo4),sad, is twisted into “difficult to cross” as in這條馬路上的車子很多，所以很難過 (There are so many vehicles on the road that it’s difficult to cross it.) 月經(yue4 jing), period, menses：小陳這個月經常遲到 Chen has been often late this month. The term is separated into two parts as in 這個月(zhe4 ge yue4), this month, and 經常(jing chang2), often. Thus the whole sentence becomes ridiculously hilarious.

Another two examples:

便當(bian4 dang), meal box: 不要把大便當飯吃。Don’t take shit as rice and eat it. (!!!)

能幹(nen2 gan4) ,capable:政府很無能,幹! The government is so incapable. Fxxx!

Well, I’d better stop here because I’m worried that you might be like my students, who always remember those errors you especially remind them not to make. To make up all the wrong impressions I’ve made, I’m giving you some “correct” sentences.

難過: 她上個月和男友分手，心裡很難過。

      She broke up with her boyfriend last month and was upset.

便當: 媽媽今天沒做晚餐，我們只好去買便當。

      We had to get meal boxes from the diner since      Mom didn’t make dinner today.       

能幹: 她是個能幹的職業婦女。

      She’s a capable career woman.

白癡造句法=白痴造句法 (Simplified)

可愛=可爱

可憐沒人愛=可怜没人爱

   賢慧=贤慧

閒閒的什麼都不會=闲闲的什么都不会

難過=难过

月經=月经

便當=便当

能幹=能干