方便 (Joke)

Some Chinese expressions have so multiple meanings that they cause a lot of misunderstanding. Here is an example:

A foreigner who has learned a little Chinese comes to Taiwan for the first time. He’s invited to a restaurant by some Taiwanese friends.

After led to their table, a Taiwanese friend says, (1)“Sorry, but I have to方便 (fang bian4)” and then left. Another Taiwanese friend explains to the foreigner that方便 means “going to the bathroom.”

During the meal, one of the Taiwanese friends says to the foreigner, (2)“I hope next time when I go to your country, you can offer me some方便. ” The latter wonders, “Why do I have to offer him bathroom?”。”

The folks eat and talk until the closing time. A waiter comes to the table and says, (3)“Sorry, but it’s our closing time. Would you please check the bill if it’s方便 for you?” The Taiwanese goes to the bathroom before he pays the bill. The foreigner wonders if it’s a special custom in Taiwan to go to the bathroom before checking the bill.

Before they leave, one of the Taiwanese says to the foreigner,(4) “I’d also like to treat you to dinner when we both 方便.” The foreigner’s puzzled why they keep talking about going to the bathroom when inviting him to eat?

Besides being a euphemism for “going to the bathroom,” 方便mainly means convenient. That’s why we have to use it when inviting someone. For example, in English you might say “Is it convenient for you to come tomorrow?” In Chinese it would be “明天你方便來嗎？” (ming2 tian ni3 fang bian4 lai2 ma?)

In the second sentence, 方便 means favor, help. So the Taiwanese is asking for a potential favor from the foreigner. Such favors are often business ones, especially from the authority. For example, when passing the Customs, some celebrities or high ranking government officials might be allowed special entrance to give them privacy. This is a方便offered to them.

In China, 方便麵 (fang bian4 mian4) refers to instant noodles while in Taiwan we call them 泡麵 (pao4 mian4).

I’d also like mention one thing about inviting someone for dinner. It’s Chinese way to be modest and keep a low profile. As a result, when inviting someone to a meal, we often call the meal 便飯, which means a simple, usual meal, nothing fancy or luxurious.

So, next time, when you’re asked when it is方便 for you for a便飯, it has nothing to do with your nature call. And very unlikely it will turn out to be a simple potluck!  

明天你方便來嗎=明天你方便来吗

方便麵=方便面

便飯=便饭